#Please look at Sydney's hair it took so long

[tux3d0cat]

"To think that even in this world, there are those who remain blind to the pristine, infinite truth of the beauty you alone possess… it boggles the mind and boils the blood. My love, everyone else may be sleeping on your virtues, but I am wide awake. I love you. I would die for you."

[thebearer]

making the bed |carmen berzatto x reader| part one

prompt: carmen's stressed. food critics, a newborn baby, balancing work life and married life and now dad life; he's bound to break, everyone knows it. but no one ever thought he'd lash out on you.

or, part one of the devastation fic. based off this ask from the other day. two more parts to come.

contains: mega angst. mega angst, with no resolution in this part. hurt, no comfort (in this chapter, will be later in part 3). mean!carmen, very mean. mom!reader x dad!carmen with newborn teddy. fighting, language, carmen says mean stuff he doesn't mean. past mentions of trauma, family trauma, mikey mentioned. very angsty and a little heavy, please read at your own discretion. word count- 3.5k+.

"Are you ok?"

Carmen now understood why that phrase used to send Donna into such a blind rage, lips pursing and jaw clenching more and more every time he heard it. First at work, then with you, it felt never ending.

It was beginning to feel like critic season with how many were coming in, snooty and demanding to be impressed. It couldn't have come at a worst time, right in the middle of busy season with the start of the holidays. Days at The Bear were filled with frantic panic, running around, making sure everything was perfect, accounted for, and Carmen always had the sinking feeling it wasn't- that he'd forgotten something, messed something up. 

It wasn't rare for him to work himself up like this, a normal that you always warned him about, but he'd always had a solitude. As long as he'd known you, he'd had a place to go, to unwind, to let himself rest and reset with you. And he still did, it was just shared now with a newborn.

Dorothea Michelle. Teddy, for short. The light of his life, yours too. Nearly two months old with a set of lungs that sounded much louder, much more developed than that. Nights were long, sleepless, spent trying to lull Teddy back to sleep, awake even if he wasn't up with her. Carmen couldn't allow himself the selfishness to relax, to rewind, to "take it easy" like everyone told him to. At work, he was the boss; at home, he was a dad.

"Fuck, fuck," Carmen's sleepy stare was broken by a lick of bubbling heat, the lamb's roux popping with the high heat, splashing all over Carmen's chef whites.

"Jeff, c'mon," Tina clicked, shaking her head, moving the pan to lower heat. "What're you doin'?"

Carmen grit his teeth, snatching a rag off the stainless steel counter tops, scrubbing the burgundy stain, huffing when it only spread the stain.

"What happened?" Sydney turned, looking from the burnt sauce to Carmen's stained chef shirt. "Oh,"

"Do we have a spare coat?" Carmen huffed, throwing the rag down with a firm smack against the counter.

"I don't think so, Carm." Sydney shook her head. "You took the last ones home with you two days ago. The wine-"

"-I know, Chef, I know." Carmen snapped, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck, I-I can't fuckin' serve the critics lookin' like this. With shit all over me- fuck."

"Hey, easy, easy," Richie turned the corner, his hands held up. "What's goin' on?"

"Jeff got sauce over him. He doesn't have any clean clothes." Tina muttered, irritated that she had to fix his mess, more irritated that he wasn't taking care of himself. You have a baby, Jeff, you need to rest and take some time, she'd told him. Carmen only waved her off.

"Okay, okay, hey, that's no problem." Richie's voice raised, lifting over Carmen's. "You go home and change, get your spare, check on my beautiful goddaughter, and then come back with your A game. Yes?"

Carmen didn't even humor him with a snarky remark, yanking his coat off and stomping towards the office to grab his things. Richie and Tina looked at each other, shaking their head gently.

"Kids runnin' thin, T." Richie muttered with a sigh. "He's gonna break. It's gonna be bad."

"Yeah, he is. Gonna wear himself out before then." Tina shook her head. "Jeff needs a vacation." They both jumped at the slamming of the backdoor, Carmen's angry exit shaking the foundation.

"Needs to be fuckin' medicated. Fuckin' lunatic." Richie scoffed, rolling his eyes at Carmen's dramatics.

The drive home was filled with silence, Carmen's iron grip on the wheel, tearing through the traffic towards the house- his house, his home. 

Home, but it didn't provide the same comfort that it usually did. Carmen's shoulders still stayed tense, buzzing with rage, not dissipating when he thought of you, or of Teddy, knowing you'd both be there, excited to see him. 

You jumped at the sound of the car door slamming, peeking out the window to see Carmen's parked next to yours, furiously stomping up the front steps. You frowned, grabbing the baby monitor, walking towards the front door.

Carmen nearly hit you with how fiercely he flung the door open. "Woah," You reached for the door, stopping it before he could flick it shut. "Carm, don't slam it. Teddy's asleep. I just got her down." You frowned at him, shutting it slowly.

Carmen looked at you but didn't speak, looking through you with a rage that had your spine tingling before he finally broke his gaze, stomping towards the laundry room. "Carm? What’re you doing home? Don’t you have dinner soon?" You hesitated slightly, lingering in the doorway with an uncertainty you hadn’t felt with Carmen before. 

Carmen didn’t answer, his jaw still ground tight while he rummaged through the clean clothes, carelessly unfolding and shifting the folded clothes.

"Carmen," You said more firmly, caching his gaze. He didn't speak still, just stared at you- through you. "Are you ok?" You lifted a brow, features softening in worry.

Carmen paused, eyes closing, shoulders tensing in agitation. Are you ok? His ears rang, a familiar rage that he hadn't felt in years bubbling up deep in his chest. Frustrated and blinding and rampant, heat rushing through his veins, pulling himself further and further from reality into someplace different- someplace darker in his mind. 

"What's wrong?" You pressed, he could barely hear it, ears ringing at your question. "Did something happen? Did the critic come-"

"-Where's my chef whites?" Carmen barked, cutting you off, his chest tightening more and more with every heavy heave of his chest. You flinched at his tone.

"Uh, I-I haven't seen the whites. I washed your white tee-"

“-You what? Y-You what?” Carmen spat, eye widening with a wild, raged glint in his eye. Your stomach flipped and fell with fear, stepping back instinctively. 

“I-I washed your tee, Carm, that’s all that you left in the laundry basket-” 

"-Are you fucking kidding me?" Carmen boomed, his head spinning, body buzzing with rage. Your breath hitched, frozen in fear at the anger in his tone, the roar of his voice bouncing off the walls, echoing through your ears in a painful drum. 

Carmen moved, snatching the dirty clothes basket, dumping it into the ground with a shake until the dirty chef coat fell on top. He gripped the basket, flinging it across the room with a hard throw. The final push to his bad mood that sent him right over the edge, crashing into a pit of blinding fury, aggravation, breaking him from the inside out.

"Fuck!" Carmen roared, his voice shaking the walls, your breath leaving your lungs in a trembling exhale of fear. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! This is- This is- Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” 

You tensed in shock, gripping the baby monitor in fear, maybe surprise, as it started to buzz to life with Teddy's startled whimpers. Her small cries pulled you out of your frozen state, something deeper than fear replacing the ache in your stomach. 

"Carmen-" You gaped, voice wobbling with uncertainty, taking slow shuffled steps towards the stairs. “Carmen, calm-calm down. Ok? Calm down.” 

“Calm down? You want me to fuckin’ calm down?” Carmen sneered, an angry red flush blossoming in splotchy deep hues up his neck, towards his cheeks. “You don’t do shit, nothin’ that I fuckin’ ask for! Just sit around all fuckin’ day an-and I’m supposed to calm down?” 

“Carmen,” Your voice wobbled, throat tight with tears, hurt and fear strangling your words. “I-You didn’t ask me to wash them. I-I didn’t know. They weren’t in the hamper-” 

“-I shouldn’t have to ask you to wash them!” Carmen roared, eyes so wide you thought they might pop right out of his head, neck vein protruding on exemplifying his rage. “You know what I’m going through! You know how much fuckin’ stress I’m under! I go to that-that shit hole, an-and work my fuckin’ ass off so you don’t have to! Then I come home, and I-I can’t even get a second of peace!” 

“Stop,” You hiss, finally regaining your composure, his words fully sinking into you  now, feeling the full effect of them. “I-I just had a baby. I’m still on maternity leave taking care of a baby- our baby, and I’m tired too. But I’m not yelling at you-” 

“-Oh, right. Right.” Carmen laughs sarcastically, humorless as he runs his hand down his face. It felt mocking, left you feeling small and too vulnerable for your liking. “Because in between your napping an-and feeding, you couldn’t stick a fucking jacket in the wash, right? You’re so busy.”  

“What is wrong with you?” You snap, hoping he can’t hear the tears in your voice, the way your voice shakes with emotion. 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?” Carmen scoffs, throwing his hands out. “I get no fuckin' sleep, go work my fuckin' ass off, a-and then I come home so I can go back and work my ass off some more, and-and you can’t do one simple fuckin’ thing? You can’t help me out? And then you wanna know what’s wrong with me? When you sit on your ass all fuckin’ day-” 

Teddy’s piercing wail pulls you out of your shocked trance, nose and throat burning with hurt filled tears you refuse to shed. Instead, you turn, climbing the stairs on shaky legs, the sound of Teddy’s cries growing louder and louder. Anchovy watches you from the top of the stairs, sensing the tension, your upset, sliding against your leg as if to comfort you. 

Carmen scoffs, hands buzzing and trembling with rage, the ringing in his ears growing louder and louder with each of your footsteps on the stairs and down the hall. He can barely hear Teddy’s sobs, hands threading through his hair, pulling at his scalp. He sees you walk towards the bedroom, quickly, hugging Teddy to your chest. 

“Oh, don’t go fuckin’ do it now!” Carmen roared, your ignoring him only infuriating him further. “It won’t be ready in time now. I’ll just look like a fuckin’ idiot for the critic tonight! Not that you care! Why would you, huh? I-I mean just our livelihood, just our fuckin’ income!” 

You swallowed back your tears, head tilting towards the ceiling, hands shaking with every shove of your things into the overnight bag. Just enough to get you through the night, the next day. A few essentials, Teddy’s spare onesies, a charger, your wallet- you stopped mid-shove of your items into the weekender bag, the sun’s rays catching in your wedding ring. Your heart fell, more and more, you weren’t sure how that was even possible. 

Carmen’s furious voice was still booming from downstairs, ringing and shaking in his furious fit. Richie and Sugar both warned you about Carmen’s tantrums, brought them up to embarrass him, tease him about it until he was red faced and hissing hushed threats at them. You never, never in your wildest dreams thought you’d be on the receiving end of one. 

You jumped, another slam of something Carmen had thrown, maybe hit in a fit of rage, causing Teddy to wail louder, Anchovy skittering nervously away. Tears leaked out of your eyes, twisting the ring off your finger, setting it on Carmen’s bedside table. Pulling the carrier out of the closet, Anchovy got in much easier than usual, which you were thankful for. 

Carmen was gripping the marble of the countertop when he heard you again, walking from the bottom of the stairs, quick steps towards the door to the garage, Teddy’s voice nearly hoarse from her crying. You kept your head high, tunnel-visioned towards your car, ignoring his heavy breathing and frantic pacing. 

“Wha-What are you doin’?” Carmen’s voice was softer now, still with a jagged edge that was cutting and harsh. The car door opened, the baby carrier hooked into the car seat. 

“Hey, wha- what are you- where’re you goin’? What’re you doin’?” Carmen’s heart dropped in a damning rush of hour, stumbling on heavy legs towards the garage. You ignored him, shushing Teddy gently, running a calming hand over her wet cheek, trying to coax her paci into her mouth. 

“Baby, no-no, no. Hey, no, I-I- What-” Carmen’s chest felt tight, mind numbing and racing, stuttering nervously. You reached for your bag, his hand reaching to grab the strap. “Whe-Where’re you-”

“-Don’t touch me.” You hissed, teeth bared, eyes shining with tears. Carmen flinched, pulling his hand back like he’d touched a hot stove. “Don’t you dare fucking touch me.” You sneered, pinning him with a watery glare that had his stomach turning in sickening fear. 

“Baby, hey, w-wait-C’mon, d-don’t-You don’t, you don’t need to do this, ok? I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Carmen choked out the words, frantic and unsure, his hands shaking when they ghosted over you back just for a moment. Wanting to touch you, to hold you, to grab you and keep you from leaving, but too scared to. Instead, he grabbed the car door you flung open, holding it when you tried to yank it closed. 

“Let go.” You hissed, sniffling back wet, snotty tears of fury and hurt. 

“Please, don’t-do-don’t do this. Please, baby, I-I’m sorry.” Carmen begged, blue eyes deepening with the burning red hues of tears, bloodshot and lashes wet. “Don’t-Don’t do this-” 

“-I didn’t do this.” You sneered, leaving Carmen flinching at your words. “Don’t you dare try to say this was me. After how you just talked to me? The shit you said to me in there? You think I’m going to stay?” Your voice cracked with emotion, lips pressing together to keep a cry in. 

“No, no, no, no, no, baby, please. Please, ju-just come inside. Come inside, please? Please, don’t-” 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that. To say that kinda stuff to me. That hurt, Carmen. That was mean.” You glared at him, tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. “I don’t care if you’re stressed. I don’t care what’s going on- nothing, and I mean nothing, warrants you talking to me like that. Just because you fucked up, because you forgot to ask me to do it, because you’re stressed out- I don’t care what it is. You don’t talk to me like that, say those things when I’ve been home all day taking care of my ch- our child.” You nod back towards the sniffling baby, whimpering and crying half heartedly, her little eyelids drooping with sleep that was interrupted. 

Carmen felt sick, his knees tightening in fear, he was sure they might give out, that he might fall to the ground right there. Looking at the tiny baby, lip jutted and shaking in the mirror hooked on the back of the seat, then back at you, eyes red-rimmed and glaring at him with a hurt filled anger. 

“Don’t-” Carmen’s chest shook, a white-knuckled grip on the door. 

Your own hand curled around the door’s inner handle, yanking it away from him. “Move,” You hissed, pulling again. 

Carmen wasn’t sure why he let it go, why he let you shut it, locking the door in case he tried to open it again. Why he let you pull out of the driveway, why he didn’t stop you, why he didn’t run after you, only taking soft shuffles down the drive like a zombie as you drove away. Standing in the drive, Carmen swallowed down the spit that pooled in his mouth, stomach churning, sure he was going to be sick. 

He managed to trudge back to the garage, mind racing and far away, the ringing in his ears dulling but still deafening. It felt like he was in a dream- a nightmare, a hallucinating trance that felt like a sick, sick dream- Carmen was hoping it was. That he’d wake up and find you next to him asleep. That he could hug you, pull you into him, nose buried in your neck, still warm from your slumber. 

As the sun began to sink low into the sky, minutes turning into hours that Carmen sat motionless in the garage, staring in a trancelike state, he realized that this wasn’t a dream or a nightmare. No this was his reality, a horrific reality that he’d made into his own. Carmen sat, eyes trained on the concrete of the garage, voice racing and blending in his mind- his words, yours, Teddy’s cries, Natalie and Richie’s, flashbacks of his mother screaming fits. 

He didn’t move, frozen in chilling, eerie fear. What ifs and terrifying possible scenarios, consequences to his own actions that left him feeling sick, hands trembling. A spiraling of fears that only drug him deeper and deeper with every haunting replay of his outburst. Even the flashing of headlights turning into the driveway, filling the garage with light, didn’t pull him from his trance. 

“The fuck is he- Cousin!” Richie roared, laying on the horn. Carmen didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge that he heard it, only stared. Richie frowned, turning the car off, throwing the door open. 

“Cousin? Carm? What-What are you doin’? Dinner service started an hour ago. Syd is freakin’ the fuck out.” Richie threw his hands up, walking towards the man who still didn’t move. Richie’s heart skipped, flashbacks of Mikey flooding into his vision, parallels of the two brothers blurring before him. 

“Yo, Carm, you-you good?” Richie stepped into the garage, his spine tingling with icy fear. It was quiet, an eerie, unsettling quiet. “Cousin, hey, what-what’s wrong?” 

Carmen's chest rose and fell, tighter and tighter. He was suffocating, head spinning and mind racing so fast he felt light headed. He could barely hear Richie’s voice over the noise in his head, Richie’s hand shaking his shoulder finally breaking his trance enough to meet his eyes, rounded in fear filled question. 

“Carmen, what’s wrong? Is it- Don’t fuckin’ tell me it’s the baby. What the fuck is goin’ on-” 

“-She left.” Carmen’s voice shook, raspy and scared. His tongue still felt too thick, head still spinning. He wasn’t even sure he said it, Richie’s widening eyes the only thing confirming that he had said it. 

“What? Who-Who left? Who?” Richie looked around, like the clues might be there, sure that Carmen wasn’t talking about you. No, he wouldn’t- he couldn’t. Not you. 

Carmen’s breath hitched, a strangling of a sob caught in his throat, running his hand over his face. Richie didn’t miss the way it trembled, shaking even as it rested over his eyes. Your car was gone, the house too quiet, no baby Teddy crying, nothing but silence was left. 

Richie’s heartbeat crawled into a rapid, scared pace. “Why? Wh-Why would she-” Richie looked at Carmen, eyes wide but still, reading his expression. “No. No, Cousin, no. What-What did you do? Carmen,” Richie grabbed both his shoulders, shaking him lightly until he met his gaze. “What did you do?” 

Carmen’s face began to crack, behind his eyes, Richie could see flashbacks of something- something he didn’t know what, but whatever it was, it was painful. That was evident by the fear that glossed over Carmen’s eyes, realization and horror. Carmen’s shoulders shook, frame rocking with a sob he tried to swallow, but couldn’t. Deep cries, guttural sobs breaking out of his frame, heels of his hands pressed to his eyes, fingers curled and clenched around his greasy curls in agony. 

The damning realization flooded over him, that you’d left. 

You’d left, you’d taken Teddy, taken Anchovy- you’d left because he’d driven you away. His angry outburst, petulant, mean, hurtful- he’d been so cruel to you. You. His wife, the love of his life, mother of his child, the one person who loved him endlessly without stipulations or boundaries, the one person who truly understood him. 

And he’d driven you away. 

He wished he could blame his mom, his dad, his family for fucking him up so severely, maybe Mikey, even, for leaving him the shit show that was the restaurant, making his anxieties worse and fuse shorter. But sitting in the empty garage, Richie standing above him in silent shock, his sobs and angry sniffles echoing off the cement floor, Carmen knew he had no one to blame but himself. 

He’d fucked up. Really fucked up. Fucked up in a way that made all the other times look obsolete. 

Carmen had fucked up, and for once, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t avoid it, ignore it, deflect it like other times. Half hearted apologies and promises of change wouldn’t work, you weren’t here for him to even try to give them to you, and he didn’t know where you went. 

Carmen wasn’t sure where you went, how to fix this, why he’d done what he did, and a million other things that raced through his mind. What he did know, sitting in the too quiet garage, chest stuttering with heaving cries, was that he’d do anything. 

Anything, to get you back home. To make it right. To fix this and make it up to you. 

He wasn’t sure how, but he’d give up everything. Anything. His restaurant, his dreams, his hopes, his life, at this point, to make it up to you. 

[cottonlemonade]

hello can i get a medium dragon fruit with coconut water for ushijima please. always with chubby reader. thank you!

Long Distance Relationship

word count: 744 || avg. reading time: 3 mins.

pairing: post-time skip husband!Ushijima x chubby!Reader

genre: fluff with some suggestiveness

warnings: spoilers, mdni

request: fluffy-spicy long distance relationship with husband Ushijima

Toshi was the last person to stand in the way of your dreams and if that meant he was going to become the far away trophy husband to a gorgeous media relations executive, he wouldn’t complain. About two months ago - 44 days, but the loneliness made him round up - you had taken the opportunity of a temporary management position in Sydney. Your husband was confident that he could handle your absence for a while, but when he stepped into the apartment the day you had left and his usual call of “I’m home, darling” only echoed through the dark empty hallway, he suddenly wasn’t so sure anymore.

The bouquet of your favorite flowers he had picked up automatically on his way home seemed to mock him now and so he simply handed it to the elderly couple next-door.

Upon hearing that the tall stoic man was going to be a grass widower for the time being they had promptly invited him over for dinner and you were happy to know that your husband, who was just about skilled enough to make ramen and pancakes, was taken care of. During your nightly calls, he would lean on the kitchen counter, hair still damp from the shower and absently nibble on whatever the kind neighbors had made for him. At least the time difference was no issue, he thought as he did the dishes - all alone, without you distracting him by hugging him from behind or playfully swatting at his butt with the dish towel.

It was the distance that drove him crazy. Not being able to play with your hair before falling asleep or pulling you on top of him on the couch as he watched a movie, letting his large warm hands roam over your indescribably soft skin, his fingers tracing the stretchmarks on your pudgy waist for comfort.

He had tried to distract himself by going out for drinks with his friends, but all he could think about was your mischievous little wink when your foot would “accidentally” brush his leg under the table.

Hoshiumi and Kageyama had looked alarmed when their usually blank-faced friend seemed close to tears after two glasses of wine.

He was at an open training with the national team about a week after your leave when it occurred to him that he wouldn‘t get to have sex with you for three months. Lucky for you, his fans kept you well-fed with thousands of snapshots of your sweat dripping husband from various angles, nourishing every thirsty thought you had about him ever since you boarded the plane. He returned to his phone during his breaks to find pictures, videos or voice messages of you touching yourself to the thought of him and Toshi would have to excuse himself to the locker rooms for three to five minutes before resuming his drills.

Whenever he was on the court, he now happily accepted the fine he had to pay for wearing his wedding ring on a chain around his neck. Post-game interviews were spent bringing you up unprompted, before the camera panned down to Hoshiumi who pushed him out of the way for a proper take on the match.

He only snapped out of his miserable wifeless stupor when Hinata excitedly announced one day that if they won this game they’d head out to play Australia next.

“Toss me all the balls.”, he said to Kageyama before they took their positions on the field. Hoshiumi huffed and protested - even louder when after momentary pondering the setter agreed.

The other team never had a chance.

All the way over in your Sydney office the staff crammed into the conference room. Having bragged practically nonstop about your husband since your arrival, your coworkers crowded around you, watching with bated breath how Ushijima Wakatoshi demolished the opposing defenses, breaking through with every spike like he was possessed. And after what was probably the shortest game you had ever seen, Japan’s fans (and the office) erupted into cheers.

Toshi ignored the reporters who all wanted a piece of the MVP and headed straight from the locker rooms to the airport, booking a last minute ticket from the back of the taxi. He’d buy clothes and toiletries once he got there. It was about 6:30 am when your doorbell rang. Holding up a bouquet of your favorite flowers you were met with your slightly out of breath husband.

“Toshi!”, you called, surprised.

“I’m home, darling.”

a/n: you definitely called in sick that day. And then next day showed him off to eeeeeveryone in the office. Thank you so much for requesting Ushijima! I always love writing for him. I hope you enjoyed it! 🌟

[carmenberzattosgf]

dword thoughts that border on sugar dword but also no not really LMFAO

i picture that once the bear takes off, carmen gets some more money and i believe that he'd be pretty frugal with it lowkey (ignore his stupid designer plain white shirts) but when it comes to you? that shit does NOT matter he likes spoiling you

when he's feeling confident/cocky, he'd give you his card and a kiss to your cheek, muttering something like "why don't you go buy something nice to wear f'me?" and once he's sat on the edge of the bed, watching you model whatever outfit you chose (dress, skirt, swimsuit, lingerie WHATEVER he's eating that shit up) he's smiling "look so pretty, baby. and you used daddy's card, right? good girl..."

same applies to nails or makeup, gotta use daddy's card fr...and he's always giddy to see your pretty nails wrapped around his cock, that new lipstick you bought smeared around the base of it -💫

💫 ANON. OH MY GOSH. WNGWHAGW. I’m going to restrain myself from over typing bc I still gotta cook on the other ask you sent tomorrow

Content warning: dword ( as you can tell)

YEAH. Once the bear takes off? he will buy you anything you want. You don’t even have to ask for it. If he as so much as hears you mention wanting something he’s going to buy it for you.

And him giving you his card… PLEASE. It’s early morning and you’re standing in the kitchen as he scrambles to get ready for work. He’s about to run out the door, but he stops to grab his wallet, pulling out his card.

“Why don’t you go and buy something nice to wear for me, yeah?” He placed the card on the countertop next to your morning cup of coffee before giving you a kiss on the cheek. He’s out the door before you can try to protest.

You don’t go too overboard with his card. You buy a dress, a skirt, and a black lace lingerie set. Carmy gets home earlier than you expected that night. “You’re home early,” you say, hopping off the couch to greet him with a hug.

“I left Sydney to hold down the fort herself. Wanted to see you sooner.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. Why don’t you show me what you bought?”

Carmy sits in front of you on the foot of the bed as you model your new skirt, and then your dress. “It’s been awhile since I’ve bought a dress. Do you like this one? I couldn’t decide between this one and another one.”

“You used daddy’s card, right?” Heat pulses through you as the nickname slips through his lips.

“Y-yes. I did.”

“Then you should’ve bought them both, baby. I wouldn’t have minded. It’s my job to spoil you.”

“I’ll get it next time, then. Do you like this one, though?”

“Of course, baby. You look gorgeous. Always so pretty for me. Did you get anything else?”

Without a word, you slip off the dress to reveal the lingerie set underneath. “I got this just for you, daddy.”

He groans at your words. “Such a good girl, aren’t you. Lay down on the bed for me. Good girls get rewards.”

DUDE THE NAILS PART. Carmy loves your nails so fucking much. The way they feel in his hair, or scratching down his back. When it’s time to get a new set you go to Carmy for his opinion.

“What color should I get for my nails next, Carm?” You watch him think for a second. Right now, a light baby pink is on your nails.

“How about wine red? That’ll look really pretty.”

That’s exactly the shade you pick at the nail salon. Before you head home, though, you make a quick stop at Sephora to pick out a matching lip stick shade. You apply the lipstick in the car so Carmy will see it right as you walk through the door.

“I got my nails done the color you suggested,” you hold out your hands in front of you to show off your nails. It took him a second, but he finally took his eyes off of your lips and looked at your hands. “I liked the color so much I went out and got a matching lip stick. Don’t worry—I used your card for it, too.”

Carmy takes your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to give your hand a kiss. “Good girl.”

It’s not long before you find yourself kneeling down in front of Carmy on the couch, with a pillow under your knees. His gaze is focused on your hand as you pump his cock. Carmy’s head falls back in a groan as you kiss the tip, leaving behind a smudge of lip stick.

Carmen’s head doesn’t stay tipped back for long, lifts his head just in time you watch you sink your mouth down on his cock. “Shit—baby,” he sighs. He watches with his mouth agape as your maroon-red lips move. You take him all the way down to the base, gagging slightly as his cock hits the back of your throat.

His hand is in the back of your hair, pulling you off his cock. Carmy’s worried he hurt you. “You alright sweetheart?”

A string of spit is still on your lips as you blink up at him. The lipstick you have on is smeared all over your mouth. The rest of your lipstick had transferred onto the base of his cock. “I’m fine— want you to come in my mouth. Please.”

“My poor little girl is a bit cock-drunk isn’t she?”

“N-need it. Use me, please.”

Carmy’s hand in your hair shoves you right back down on his cock. Both of his hands collect your hair into a pony tail as he begins to fuck your throat. The size of his cock has you gagging around him. The squeeze of your throat around his length makes sinful moans leave his mouth.

“Such a good girl for daddy—fuck. Taking daddy’s cock so well down your throat. Gonna make me cum. You want that? Want me to cum down your throat?”

You let out a moan in response and Carmy’s done for, spilling down your throat with broken groans. He pulls you up off of your knees the second he’s finished, bringing you into a kiss.

Let’s just say… he’s eager to get you to bed to return the favor…

[buggybambi]

Ooo hiii! Can I please request a Carmy x fem!reader where he proposes to her on Valentine’s Day? Ooo and maybe this is the au where she’s his assistant, and has been for years, and the staff is heavily involved in the proposal hehe

Also Richie making some joke about how this is some promotion she’s getting lmao

hope this is okay my love! i honestly had no idea i had an au where she's an assistant lmao! i also changed it a little bit, hope that's okay ♡ - wc: 1.02k | nav post - request guidelines | cw: fem!reader, mention of reader wearing a dress

"You're not seriously proposing, are you?" Richie asks Carmen as the two prepare the Beef for it's opening. Carmen lets out a sigh as he ties his apron behind his back. "And who the hell told you?" Carmen questions in return.

"Sugar did. You proposin' or what?" Richie repeats, as Carmen rolls his eyes. "Cousin, you are not to say a word about this to anyone, okay?" He lets out a long exhale. "I am. Tonight." Carmen confirms as Richie stares at him. "Oh my gosh, you're gonna marry your assistant. If only we had an HR that could have a field day with you."

"I'm basically HR, cousin." Carmy reminds as he walks over to Marcus. "Chef, how's it going?" He asks as he rubs his hands together. "I have got our Valentine's day treats prepped, and I even have a cake prepared for when you propose to your girl." Marcus grins as Carmen rolls his eyes. "Maybe Sugar is the one I should tell to shut up." He mumbles before he walks over to his station.

"So, any big plans for tonight?" He overhears Syd ask you as you and her handle cleaning one of the other stations. "None at all. Why is everyone asking me that today?" You laugh, a sound that he can't help but smile at, as you walk over to Marcus with the clipboard he assigned to you three years ago when you began working as his assistant.

It was Sugar really who gave him the idea of getting an assistant. She told him, "you're busy. You can't handle your own schedule or meetings, so hire someone to do it for you." She was the one to pick you out from a list of candidates, and from the moment he met you, he was in love with you.

But, in usual Carmen fashion, he took forever to get with you. Convincing himself you wouldn't feel the same way, that you wouldn't even want to be with him. Until you told him first that you loved him and had been in love with him. From there you two were kind of like the Jim and Pam of the Beef, at least that's what Sydney referred to you too as.

"Hi Marcus. Oh, cute treats." You greet with a smile as you lean against the wall by his station, clipboard resting face-up against your front. "What's with that cake?" You ask, looking at the clipboard for any orders that may have been placed.

"Uh, I asked him to make it. Pete and I's anniversary is coming up and we didn't save any of our wedding cake so I asked Marcus to recreate it." Nat swoops in, smiling at you. You nod slowly. "Right.. well, congrats on your anniversary, Sug." You say before you turn and walk over to Carmen.

"Hey you. Clear your calendar because I am setting up a date night for us." Carmen says as he leans on the counter, standing in front of you. "Mm. Can I ask what we're doing on this date night or is it a total surprise?" You ask.

"Total surprise. I'll pick you up at your place." He kisses you on the cheek before walking off. You laugh before going back to your clipboard filled with Carmen's list of activites and meetings for the day. ────

You sat on your sofa, the dress you first met Carmen in on you. You figured with it being Valentine's Day, the nostalgia of the first time you met him would be nice for the date night Carmy had planned.

A small knock from the front door, and you stood from your spot and walked over to answer it. Fixing your hair as you stood in front of the door for a second, you opened it, expecting to meet Carmen's eyes. Instead, you found him on one knee in front of you, one hand behind his back.

"I was going to do this at a restaraunt. Or on the sidewalk, or literally any-fucking-where else." He admits with a breathy laugh following. "But, I couldn't wait. I couldn't imagine myself doing this anywhere else and of course it's like me to do this at your front door on your welcome mat."

"I love you. I've loved you since I met you, and each day that passes I find myself falling more and more in love with you. You're my everything, you're my moon and stars- no, you're my fucking universe." He shakes his head, tears in his eyes. "And I can't imagine a world or my life without you there. I want you and I to build a life together. To have a family with you if that's what we find ourselves wanting." He smiles. "Will you make me the happiest man, even though you already have, make me an even happier man and marry me?"

As soon as he pulls the ring out you're already saying yes, practically dragging him up off the ground so you can kiss him. He slides the ring onto your finger before kissing you again. You pull away, laughing as you place a hand on his cheek. "Carm, I love you so much- was everyone else in on this!?" You ask through a laugh.

"They were. Sugar kept telling everyone, I'm shocked no one spilled." He laughs as well, wrapping his arms around you to hug you, burying his face in your neck. "Okay, seriously no Valentine's day will ever top this." You say.

────

It doesn't shock anyone when you show up to work the next day with the ring on your finger, and the story of him proposing on your doorstep doesn't shock anyone either. "Is this her getting a promotion?" Richie asks with a grin as you roll your eyes. "If we had an HR department I swear I'd file a report against you."

"You're technically marrying the HR department." Carmen says softly as you grin. "Hell yes I am." You place a kiss on his cheek. "Hey, now as your assistant I get to schedule your wedding." You note as he smiles, pressing his forehead against yours.

"Can't wait for it."

˙ ✩°˖🌸 ⋆｡˚꩜

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[deanwritings]

The Guest House - Chapter 6

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Series Summary: Dean Winchester is going through a nasty divorce. He doesn't have much left to his name, but what he does have is his house. Leave it to his soon-to-be ex wife to find a way to even ruin that for him. Enter Y/N, who is looking to get away from life for a bit, and stumbles right into the middle of it all.

The Guest House Master List

Word Count: 3,288

A/N: Almost missed this week's chapter because I've been obsessively reading Fourth Wing and Iron Flame. Took a lot of willpower to put the books down and get this finished 😅

You were absolutely shocked, flabbergasted, dismayed, aghast, and every other word in the thesaurus when Dean offered to be your hiking buddy. 

Never in a million years did you ever expect the man to offer you any favors, not alone fix your car, and definitely not take you hiking. 

After he left for work, a part of you still wanted to go. You weren’t one to wait around if you didn’t have to, but if you were being honest with yourself, you had been scared to go alone. The only times you had ever hiked alone was when you were a fearless teenager, and even then you had your 110 pound dog, Beau, by your side, so you never had to worry about someone bothering you. Plus, those were your home trails, you knew them even when you took a wrong turn. Mount Carmel was entirely new to you. Even though the hiking reviews said the trails were relatively easy, there was always a chance of missing a trail marker, especially being out of season. Hiking markers were typically re-sprayed in spring, so it had been almost a year of weathering the elements since the last time they’d likely have been updated. 

And of course, the big question ringing in your mind – could you trust Dean? The truth was, you didn’t know much about him. Every interaction up until that point had been contentious at best. Not to mention that gun he first greeted you with. Sure, you two had a nice morning together, but was that enough to trust him and let him lead you through the woods alone? 

So you decided to give Sydney a call.

“Absolutely not.” Her voice rings through the receiver. “Just cause he was nice to you once means nothing.” You sigh as you throw yourself onto the couch. 

“I know.” And you do. That’s why you were calling her for a second opinion. “But he actually seemed genuine. Surprisingly so.”

“Nope. No. No way.” She reinforces her position on it. “Please don’t make me have to do an interview on Dateline. I will not be nice. I will say ‘I told her not to go but she was dumb and didn’t listen.’ Twitter will have a field day with it.” You laugh quietly as you let your head fall against the back of the couch, staring up at the plank ceilings that match the floors. 

“Fair enough,” you conceded, knowing that what she’s saying is absolutely true. “But what if I told you he was really hot?” You raise your eyebrows even though she can’t see you. 

The other line is silent for a moment.

“How hot we talking? Like Tom Hiddleston hot or Chris Hemsworth hot?”

“Hemsworth, definitely.” You smile as you think about Dean’s defined features; a strong jaw covered in a few days worth of scruff and his oddly beautiful green eyes. You don’t think you’ve ever considered a man’s eyes beautiful until you met him. You also enjoyed the way his hair swooped over his forehead. It wasn’t long, per say, but you definitely could see yourself grabbing a handful of it if the time were right.

“Are we forgetting the vindictive ex-wife?” Sydney chimes in, breaking you from your daydreaming before it takes a shameful turn. “I mean, he had to do something to her to make her hate him that much.”

“I’m not trying to marry him, Syd.” You roll your eyes. “Yeah, he’s kinda an asshole, but he’s a hot asshole. And it’s not like I’m going to be around here much longer.” You only had about two weeks left on your rental, and now that Dean was starting to come around to you, the thought crossed your mind that maybe he could be that vacation fling you had been hoping to find. 

“Okay, well I gotta get back to work.” You can hear her heels click before background voices filter in. You glance over to the kitchen clock; 1:31. Her lunch break was ending. “Just make smart choices, please.” Her voice pleads just a bit. You know she trusts you, but you would be looking out for her if the roles were reversed. 

“Always do, Sydy. I’ll text you later.” 

As you hang up, you realize that you haven’t actually gotten lunch yet for yourself. You had some cold cuts in the fridge, but considering you were supposed to be out hiking right now, you were antsy to get out of the house. 

You decide it’s a good day to head back into town and grab some lunch, and who knows, maybe you’ll run into a certain mechanic. The idea has you smiling as you grab your coat and throw on your boots, not before freshening up with some quick makeup before you go. Just in case. 

Thankfully, your car starts with just one easy press of the ignition, and your lips turn upward as you think about Dean saving you this morning. 

A few minutes later, you’re parked downtown, this time getting a spot right in front of BILLIES. Your eyes scan the street, not seeing the tell-tale forest green truck of your neighbor. 

It had been wishful thinking, but you still need lunch so you head inside.

“Afternoon, hun.” Billie herself greets you, and you give her a wave as you take a seat at the counter. This was your fourth visit now, and each time Billie had always greeted you with a warm smile and treated you like a regular, even though she knew you were leaving soon. 

She drops a menu and a water in front of you.

“You know the deal.” She gives you a smirk before turning towards the kitchen. And you do. Once you are ready to order, just flag her down.

You’ve been making a point to order something new each time you visit, so today you were going with a chipotle turkey cheeseburger, curly fries, and your usual Diet Coke. 

Once your food is ready, Billie drops it in front of you, but you stop her before she can hurry away. Even with a near-empty diner, she always manages to find something to keep her busy.

“Hey, can I get your opinion on something?” She nods, her hair bouncing around her as she drops a hand to her hip.

“What’s up, hun?” 

“You know Dean pretty well, right?” Her chestnut eyes narrow at you. 

“Sure do,” Her tone is lighter than her gaze. “Known that boy since he was a tyke. Babysat him and his brother a few times.” 

Well that was interesting, you didn’t know Dean had a brother. Not that you would, but considering all your run-ins, you assumed he would have been around. Maybe he didn’t live here anymore. 

“He offered to take me hiking on Mount Carmel on Thursday. Obviously I barely know him, he’s safe to go with right? Like, I don’t have to worry about him killing me or anything?” Her head falls back with a deep laugh, and her hands clap together. It takes her a moment to collect herself as her chest heaves, and she wipes a tear away from her eye. You just watch her with wide eyes as she draws the attention of the few patrons enjoying a late lunch. 

“Oh, LORD, I have not laughed like that in a while.” She throws a hand onto her chest. 

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then?” You assume from her reaction. 

“Sweetie, that boy is harmless.” She assures you, a hint of laughter still in her tone. “A pain in the ass, maybe, but you don’t have anything to worry about with Dean.” 

“Well that I knew.” You pick up a fry and take a bite.

“How’d you manage to talk him into taking you for a hike anyhow?” Billie asks as she rests one hand on the counter and the other finding its way back to her hip.

“He offered,” you shrug, biting into another fry as her eyebrows shoot up. 

“He offered to take you hiking?” She parrots in disbelief and you nod. Her eyes look you up and down and you suddenly sit up straighter under her scrutiny. 

“What?” You now feel self-conscious. You don’t know what she’s looking at or for, but heat rises to your ears and cheeks as she looks you over. 

She just tsks and shakes her head, pushing off the counter. 

“Just surprised is all.” She gives a small shrug as someone behind you flags her down. “Enjoy your meal, hun.” 

And with that, she hurries into the dining room, leaving you confused and hungry as you pick up your burger and dig in.

Dean’s toweling off his hair, the bathroom steamed and warm from his shower, when his phone buzzes on the counter. 

He clicks his phone alive, 7:02 in big white numerals above the text notification bearing your name. 

He stands up a little straighter as he clicks open the text, his eyes quickly scanning your words.

If the offer still stands, I wouldn’t mind a hiking buddy on Thursday. 

He smiles down at the text. He obviously didn’t know you very well, but he fully anticipated you ignoring his warning and going hiking alone today anyways. 

But his shoulders drop as he realizes he’s now committed to a hike and he drops his head back. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles as he tossed his damp towel in the hamper and heads into the bedroom, thinking about his response as he grabs some sweats, a henley, and a thick pair of socks, because god damn, it was cold out. 

 Once he’s changed, he picks his phone back up.

Consider it done. He texts back as he heads downstairs to whip up some dinner. 

Dean didn’t have a lot of skills outside the auto shop, but one thing he was good at was cooking. He spent a lot of his childhood watching cooking shows with his mom as she tried to up her own ability, his early years being a lot of tv dinners and mac and cheese. By the time he was a teenager, she could pull together the most delicious pot roast and mashed potatoes you ever had. And Dean was her number one helper. 

“My little sous chef.” She would call him until he begged her to stop one day when he was twelve. 

The thought makes him smile, and he realizes he hasn’t called her in a while.

Once he gets out the ingredients he needs, he grabs his headphones and pops them into his ears.

“Hey Siri,” He unwraps the strip steak and slaps it down onto a cutting board. “Call mom.”

The phone rings as he heavily salts the beef.

“Dean!” His mother's excitement makes him wince as it nearly blows out his eardrums.

“Hi, mom,” he smiles, happy to be talking to her for the first time in well over a week. He tried to call her every few days, but as his divorce has been draining him mentally and financially, he’s been calling less. And at this moment, he feels really bad about it. 

“It’s been a while.” She says much softer. “How are things?” The genuineness in her voice immediately eases the stress that has burrowed in his shoulders ever since Lisa left. 

As he heats up and butters his cast iron skillet, he fills his mom in on happenings at the shop, Mary needing full updates on Benny, Adam, and the rest of the gang. How the divorce is going, and Dean fills her in about his guest. 

“Dean,” she sighs. He knows this divorce hurts her. She had loved Lisa like the daughter she never had, and was so excited to watch her son start his life with what she thought was a lovely woman. He still remembers her heartbreak when he told her that he caught Lisa cheating and that she had left him.

“Sweetheart, is this really worth dragging on?” He rolls his eyes as he bastes the steak. 

Here comes the mom lecture. 

“I really wish you could just move on from all this. I know she hurt you, but Dean, how long are you going to continue giving her power over your life?” His shoulders drop as he sighs. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to move on, but to be honest, he just didn’t know how. Everything went so wrong so fast, his head was spinning like a top, and that was before he found Lisa in bed with Gavin. 

“I really want you to be happy, Dean.” The break in her voice has him shaking his head. This was another reason he hasn’t been calling as often. He didn’t want his own mother to pity him. 

Here he was, 32 years old, in the middle of a divorce, with nothing but a house and bitterness, while his brother was thriving. 

At 28, Sam was proving to be a shining star at the law firm he started with when he graduated law school. And last month, he proposed to his college sweetheart, Jessica. His life was just beginning, while Dean’s was stuck in the mud. 

“I am happy, mom.” He lies. “And I’ll be a lot happier once this divorce is over and Lisa is out of my life for good.” He carefully flips his steak, continuing to baste so it doesn’t burn. He can hear his mother’s sigh in his ears. She always knew when he was lying.

“Are you coming up to visit anytime soon?” She changes the subject.

“Actually, I’m coming up this weekend. There’s a car auction Sunday and Rick wants me to come tune up a few of his cars before he puts them on the block.” 

“Oh good!” His mother’s excitement returns, and they carry on with their conversation. 

Fifteen minutes later, Dean carries his finished plate to the table; seared stripe steak and roasted green beans with some leftover potatoes he had from a few nights ago. 

He rubs his hands together before he cuts into the steak, humming at the perfectly medium rare center. 

After a few bites, he picks up his phone, and sees he has a missed text from you stamped 24 minutes ago, while he was on the phone with his mom. 

Not sure if you wake up early on your days off, but if you do, I was thinking a sunrise hike? But if not I’m happy to go anytime. 

Dean purses his lips as he takes another bite, this time mixing in some mashed potato. 

He Googles Thursday’s sunrise: 6:59am. The hiking trails were about 25 minutes away, and it takes about an hour to hike to the lookout. Doing the math backwards, they would have to leave here by 5:30am. Definitely a little early for his taste on his one day off this week, but he invited himself on your hike, so he was going to swallow down his own distaste for that early of a start and agree. 

Sounds good to me. Meet me in the driveway 5:30am. We can take my car. 

Dean’s about to put his phone down but the three text bubbles jump up on the screen, and only a few seconds later, your next text.

On second thought, how about a post-sunrise hike? 

Dean smiles and lets you know that works, and you agree to meet in the driveway at 7:30am instead. 

See you then. You reply, and Dean closes out the screen and returns to his dinner. 

He’s not sure why, but he feels almost excited for tomorrow. Which is odd considering how much he fucking hates hiking. And though you two have been civil, he still wouldn't say he likes you. He just doesn’t dislike you anymore, finally able to separate you from the scheme Lisa dropped you into.

But Dean doesn’t dwell on it, more than likely just looking forward to a change of scenery as he takes a big bite of steak and settles into his seat.

“I can’t believe you consider this fun,” Dean huffs behind you, watching every step he takes as you transverse the mountainside. The incline is not overly steep, and thankfully the path isn’t too rocky, but the real danger is the one Dean warned you about; the ice. Thankfully you haven’t fallen flat on your ass, but you’ve definitely slipped a few times, once which had you rolling out your ankle to make sure you hadn’t sprained it only fifteen minutes in. 

“No one forced you to come.” You remind him with an easy breath as you focus back on your own steps, your gloved hands resting easy on the lapels of your backpack. Not that you’re trying to taunt him while he seems to be struggling as he staggers behind you.

“You know, you could walk on a flat road.” Dean continues to complain a few minutes later, as the trees start to fall away, replaced by boulders and lingering snow patches. “I mean, really, what the hells the difference? There’s plenty of trees on the road by my place if that’s what you’re looking for.” He gripes as you turn over your shoulder, watching as he steps around an iced-over puddle.  

“Tell me Dean, are you always this grumpy, or do I just seem to bring out the worst in you?” You pause and fully look towards him, dropping your hands across your chest as he takes a few more cautious steps, closing the distance between you as he steps up on a rock, the added height making him tower over you.

You’ve been at this for almost an hour, and Dean has complained almost every chance he’s had. It was very clear that he did not enjoy hiking, and it was starting to sour your morning. This was supposed to be your get-into-nature, positive energy, meditative morning hike. You had no problem taking this hike alone, he was the one who invited himself. So it was time he started acting like the guest he was. 

“Must be you, sweetheart.” He grins widely down at you, his white teeth flashing, and you suck in a breath as your heart halts.

Holy shit, this man is beautiful. His hair is tucked into a gray knit hat, and his broad frame is hidden under a thick, camel hunting coat. But his eyes. Those green eyes are shining bright in the early morning sun, and they may be the most amazing eyes you’ve ever seen, on a man or woman. It’s almost unfair. 

Truly, what the hell is a man as good-looking as Dean doing hiding away in this small town? Especially with the city only two hours away. He could easily be a model or an actor if he wanted to. The world opens doors for beautiful people. 

“Lucky me,” you regain your composure and return a tight smile as you turn on your heel, but as you shift, your left foot slips out from under your boot and you start to fall forward, your hands shooting out to brace your fall just as two hands grip your hips, catching you. 

“Warned you about that ice.” You can hear the cheeky grin in his voice as he helps you straighten up, his fingers digging deliciously into your skin through your workout tights before he lets go.

You want to shoot back a sassy remark, but you bite your tongue.

“Thank you.” You offer instead, turning towards him carefully as to not lose your footing again. 

“Don’t mention it,” he smiles down at you as he pushes past, taking the lead for the first time since you started your hike, and you have no choice but to follow.

Keep Reading

NEXT TIME:

“This is weird, right?” You say to yourself once you’re back to your little cabin. Who the fuck goes on a trip with a man they barely know, to stay with his mother of all people. 

Aunt Rose would. Your inner voice rings out. Hell, she would jump at the opportunity for the chance at a fun weekend at a fancy car show. 

I mean, it did sound cool. You’ve never been to a car show before, not that you know much about them, but you do “ohhh” and “ahhh” whenever a nice car drives by. You can at least appreciate them. And what were you going to do this weekend? The loneliness was starting to grate at you. Turns out four weeks alone wasn’t as relaxing as you expected it to be. It was nice at first, but now it was getting boring. You’ve hiked, you’ve read, you’ve meditated, you’ve shopped. Though it sounds like the town is bustling with city tourists during the warmer months, there was not much going on while there’s snow on the ground. Really, the only thing you could think of was to head to Max’s. Maybe you could meet someone this time, and not get interrupted since Dean won’t be around. 

But you know that’s not what you want to do. 

Oh god, Sydney is going to murder me. 

You pick up your phone and open a text.

I’m in. 

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[femboyhunting]

Part 1 of a Corrupted Sydney X Reader that I started I don't know years ago and abandoned. Figured the food was going to waste so I might as well feed you ravenous dogs.

SLAM

The sharp sound cut through the cacophony of the cafeteria. You'd been absorbed in a conversation with Robin but you both jumped at the interruption. What now? Why did it always have to be something? Couldn't you have one day without some bullshit bothering you? Your muscles tensed as you readied yourself for a fight and you snapped your head up to see… Sydney? He was still holding the stack of books he'd slammed onto your table. He glared down at you. Wait, glared? At you? 

“I need to talk to you,” he said. Then, gaze darting to a wide-eyed Robin beside you, “Alone, please.”

Robin sputtered, his head swiveling back and forth between you as he tried to come up with some kind of protest. The way Sydney looked at you was different, harder. He used to look at you in almost reverence. A shiver ran down your spine and you dropped your head. You watched his hands tighten around his books. They looked old. Delicate thick tombs that you remembered Sydney held like they could crumble away at a rough touch. It felt almost sacrilegious to watch his fingers creasing the pages now. His nails were adorned in chipped black polish. You remembered the evening you took his hands in yours to carefully apply that polish. Black, to match yours. 

Suddenly one of his hands shot up and, instinctively, you pushed yourself back. Your chair screeched unpleasantly as it scraped against linoleum. Robin bolted up, his own chair clattering to the floor, “What's your problem, Sydney?”

“You're going to be my problem if you don't mind your fucking business and stay out of it!”

You cringed, they were being too loud. Already the commotion was attracting attention. Heads turned your way. You caught the eyes of several other people as you watched them lean in to whisper and giggle to each other, and shot death-glares at them until they turned away in embarrassment. 

“Ok, ok!” You stood, palms up in surrender. Sydney visibly relaxed. 

“Thank you, love. I'm sorry, I-I…I just need to talk to you, I just need to know why you're a–”

And you bolted. A group of students yelled after you as you shouldered your way through them and slammed bodily through the cafeteria's double doors. 

Behind you, “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Oh he sounded mad. But that whole mess would be tomorrow you’s problem. Your footfalls echoed down empty halls. You'd almost let yourself slow when you heard the slam of the cafeteria doors. And running. Dammit. Running away from your problems usually worked. You veered right, into a dark classroom, your sneakers screeching in protest. Perfect. As quietly as you could, you clicked the door shut and stepped furtherer into the gloom. Your breathing was ragged, deep gulping breaths you forced yourself to take through your nose. It was an English classroom you'd found yourself in. The blinds were drawn. You couldn't tell if the darkness soothed or discomforted you. But it was quiet, and you were alone for now. Safe for now, you told yourself. But you couldn’t find it in you to be very convincing, even to yourself. 

And you were proven right when the classroom door slammed open and you were tackled to the floor. You managed to brace yourself against the floor but your vision still momentarily glimmered with stars. The assaulter growled in your ear, “Stop fighting me! Stop it. Please. I just want–ow!-- why are you being such a fucking asshole?!”

Sydney. You kicked out and seemed to hit something important because he gasped and reeled back, allowing you to scramble up and crab-scuttle away from him until your back hit a desk. 

He remained there, huffing, one arm wrapped around his midsection. He was hunched over, his long black hair hanging in messy locks across his face. He looked like a wild animal, yellow eyes fixed on you with a disconcerting intensity. Then he grinned, “Oh I get it! This is some kind of game isn't it, you want me to be rougher so you're goading me into it. Baby, you know you just have to ask!”

Oh no. You threw your arms up to cover your face and tried to go somewhere else, the way you usually did. It didn't work. Not with Sydney.

 Just relax, it'll be over soon. 

But it was Sydney. Sweet angel Sydney, whose smile was as radiant as the sun and who gave tight warm hugs. Safe. One of the few people you could let your guard down around. This felt all wrong. 

“Please don't…” You hated how weak your voice sounded. Hated hated hated it. Hated yourself for your selfishness. For exposing Sydney to a filthy evil world when he could have lived happily without knowing, just for your own thrills. Hated that you were just like everyone else in this awful rotten town. Hated that now that all was said and done, you were-

“-scared of me. You're actually scared of me,”his hands balled into fists,”I've never done anything to hurt you!”

You dropped your hands, a bit of your defiance returning to you, ”Never done anything to hurt me? What about a couple weeks ago? You assaulted me you asshole!”

Sydney blinked, “No I di– what?”

– 

You'd had a bad day. Not like that was new. Just mark it off as forfeit and get back to work. After all, the devil works hard but Bailey works harder. And if you didn't come through for him today he'd sell you off to the highest bidder. Again. Then you'd miss school and they'd send the police after you. And that's really how it started, a snowball turns into an avalanche and suddenly you're buried and have to scratch your way back up all while periodically getting fucked in the ass. That last part was not a metaphor. 

You caught your reflection in a store's tinted display window. You had dark bags under your eyes and your hair was greasy enough to limply lay flat against your head. Your lips were cracked. There were a few specks of dried blood on your cheek that you rubbed at with the hem of your sleeve until they were gone. Then you jumped when, through the glass, a blond man made eye contact and smiled. Oh, Sirius. He smiled like Sydney. Or, well, you supposed that Sydney smiled like him. It was the way his smile always reached his eyes. 

Oh, right, the sex shop. That's where you were. You'd been wandering. Sheepishly, you waved at him. This was good enough. Working here, that is. All you had to do was go on autopilot and work through the day. You could do that. You tugged your sleeves over the angry red rope burns around your wrists and made your way inside. 

The evening was uneventful. Stacking boxes, patrons slapping your ass as they passed. The pay wasn't amazing but the work wasn't hard. Sydney flitted around the store and scowled at the customers that bothered you like he was trying to get their heads to explode through sheer force of will. When he tried to strike up conversation you offered simple one-sentence answers. His face fell, and that immediately made you feel terribly guilty so you offered him your best attempt at a smile and told him you were really tired, a chat was beyond your bandwidth right now. 

Eventually you fell into a rhythm. 

Only to find Sydney, wrists shackled with a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs. In the dim artificial light of the storeroom he looked up at you through his feathery gold lashes. And mewed out a sultry plea for freedom, breath already hitched and cheeks flushed. He was tempting and you knew exactly what it was he wanted. But as you crouched down to his level you could feel a bone-deep exhaustion well up inside you. None of this mattered now. You had one task you had to do and that was to work up enough money to pay off this week's debt. Every muscle in your body felt wound tight against your bones, a coiled creaking machine on the verge of running out of even the fumes it was running on. 

Sydney's mouth dropped open in shock when you undid the lock to handcuffs and turned to leave. 

Ok back to work. You could do–

“Oh no you don't!”

Your body slammed back to the floor, aided by Sydney's own weight. 

[in-my-feels-probably]

MY HUSBAND CARMEN OMFG PLEAZE CARMEN X READER ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP AND IM JUST IMAGINING READER HAVING LIKE TJE WORST DAY POSSIBLE AND LIKE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP AT THE RESTAURANT AND JUSG LIKE PRACTICALLY IN TEARS BY THE END OF THEIR DAY AND CARMEN LIKE GIVES HER A MASSAGE AND TAKES CARE OF HER AND MAYBE LIKE SOME SWEET INTERACTIONS WITH THE OTHERS AT THE RESTAURANT IF IGS OKAY

Mishaps and Bear Hugs

Request: MY HUSBAND CARMEN OMFG PLEAZE CARMEN X READER ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP AND IM JUST IMAGINING READER HAVING LIKE TJE WORST DAY POSSIBLE AND LIKE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP AT THE RESTAURANT AND JUSG LIKE PRACTICALLY IN TEARS BY THE END OF THEIR DAY AND CARMEN LIKE GIVES HER A MASSAGE AND TAKES CARE OF HER AND MAYBE LIKE SOME SWEET INTERACTIONS WITH THE OTHERS AT THE RESTAURANT IF IGS OKAY

Hi! Sorry for the wait. I’m still getting used to writing Carmy’s character, so bear with me while I get the hang of it. Thank you for the request, this is a cute idea. I hope you enjoy it!

(Warnings: a shitty pun in the title, swearing, slight injury, a bad day, let me know if i missed anything)

—

“I’m gonna fucking kill Richie,” you said as you walked back into the kitchen, taking a deep breathe.

“You can’t kill him if he isn’t here,” Marcus called over as he loaded his trays of bread onto the racks.

“I’ll kill him tomorrow, then,” you said, walking over to Tina’s station. “Tina, I am begging you to work the register for a little bit. Richie called out, and I’m going to lose my mind if one more asshole walks in here and tries some shit. I’ll do your work for you, please—”

Tina laughed, putting her knife down. “Alright, alright, we can switch. You’re taking the heat if I slap someone, though.”

“Thank you, thank you,” you sighed in relief, pulling an apron over your head.

Tina nodded, walking through the kitchen doors and into the front of house.

You went back to Tina’s duties, chopping up the vegetables she hadn’t finished. You put a pot on the stove, turning on the burner. You added all the vegetables to the pot, looking around for any stock to boil them down in.

“Sydney, do you know where the stock is? I thought I brought it out this morning.”

“Walk-in, top shelf,” Marcus said, pointing. “Sorry, I thought you were done with it and I put it up.”

“That’s fine, thanks,” you sighed, going to the walk-in.

Of course it had to be on the top shelf. The one thing you needed, just out of reach. You stood on your toes, pulling it down. You managed to get it down off the shelf, but as you adjusted your grip on it when you turned to leave, the lid slipped and the container fell to the floor.

Luckily, the container didn’t turn over and spill. But it did send the stock spurting up at the impact, splashing you. Your apron took the brunt of the impact, but it still splashed up into your hair, coating your shoes.

You groaned, opened the door with your back and pushed through, the container now in your hands. “Marcus! When you put shit back, could you at least make sure the lid is on tight?”

Marcus took one look at you and stifled a laugh, biting his tongue. “Shit, I'm sorry. Need me to grab a towel?”

“Yes,” you muttered, returning to your vegetables.

As you looked in the bottom of the pan, you realized they had begun to blacken on the bottom from not having any liquid in the pot with them. You had taken too long with the stock, and now the vegetables were likely ruined and would need to be re-chopped and boiled.

You groaned, reaching for the handles of the pot to take it off the stove. When your hand touched the pot, it immediately singed your fingers, making you quickly retract them.

“Fuck!” You said, blowing on them to try and stop the heat of the burn. “God, that hurts.”

At all the commotion and the sound of your distressed voice, the door to Carmy’s office opened. He peeked his head out, only to see you standing by the stove, clutching your hand to your chest, fresh tears brewing in your eyes and threatening to fall.

“Hey,” he said softly, coming up to you and holding you by your shoulders. “What happened?”

You scoffed, nearly laughing with anger. What hadn’t happened? What hadn’t gone wrong?

“What happened? What happened is Richie didn’t show up to work, so I had to take his shift on the register. And then a man and his buddies came in and told me I was shit at my job because I couldn’t ring up their five hundred fucking sandwiches they ordered fast enough. So, Tina switched with me and I chopped up her vegetables she had left and put them in a pot. I was gonna boil them down in a stock, but the stock was on the top shelf in the walk-in. I got it down, but the lid wasn’t on tight enough, so it slipped when I got it down and splashed all over me and my hair and my shoes. I went to check the vegetables, and they had already burned to the bottom of the pot because I didn’t get the stock quick enough, so I went to pull the pot off the stove and burned the fuck out of my hand. I’m just having such a shit day, I can’t do anything right, I’m fucking it up for all of you—”

Carmy gently shushed you, taking the towel Marcus had brought over and wiping any stock he could see off of you.

“It’s fine, Y/N, it’s alright. It’s nothing we can’t fix. I don’t care about the stock, I care about that burn. Come with me, alright?”

You shook your head, groaning. “No, I made a mess and I need to clean it—“

Sydney interrupted you, already moving to fix the stock. “Go get your hand checked out, we’ve got this. It’s alright, really.”

“Sorry about the lid,” Marcus said, clapping you on the shoulder.

You shook your head, letting out a breath. “It’s fine. Thanks, guys.”

You let Carmy lead you into his office, staying quiet as he pulled out a first aid kit. He held your hand in his, turning it over to get a good look at the burn.

“It’s not bad. I’m gonna wrap it, though. Does it hurt?”

You shook your head. “It’s not that bad. It hurts less than my pride, that’s for sure.”

Carmy let out a chuckle as he wrapped your hand, finishing and moving his hand up to smooth over your hair. “You’ve got stock in your hair.”

You knew he was just teasing, and that he didn’t mean anything bad by it, but you could still feel tears well up again. Carmy sighed, pulling you into a hug. He let a hand rest on the back of your head, the other running up and down your back.

“Today fucking sucks,” you muttered into his shoulder. “I’m gonna kill Richie tomorrow.”

“Then who would work the register?” He joked, making you huff.

You pulled back, and Carmy brought a hand up to cup your cheek, wiping away some dried stock. He left his palm there, and you leaned into it, taking a deep breath.

“You’re alright, baby. Shitty day, I know. Tomorrow will be better.”

“That’s eerily optimistic coming from you,” you grinned, making Carmy smile.

“I didn’t say it would be better for me,” he said, bending down to put away the first aid kit. “But it’ll be better for you. Richie will be back, and you can yell at him tomorrow. I’ll put you with Marcus, he’s doing cakes tomorrow. You can help him, alright?”

You nodded, moving to wrap your arms around his waist. Your voice was quiet, defeated. “Thank you.”

Carmy pressed a kiss to the top of your head, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. He gently rocked you back and forth, and you could instantly feel yourself ease in his hold.

“You’re welcome, baby.”

—

A/N - Hi! Sorry this is a little short, I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for the request!

[xstrawberryshiftsx]

How I met my better cr s/o PT1

based off a dream and a playlist!

part two!

Dove: that’s me! (I’m obvs not using my real name, plus my irl one is pretty weird so it suits lol)

Caster: my s/o

James: casters bestfriend

Bell: Casters twin sister

Jade, Min-Jun, Cindy, Clay: my best friends/friend group

I found this playlist on Spotify and my mind has never been more pleased

also no judgement this is super Mary sue and cringey but let me live

‘who’s that chick?’

James asked as he crushed his Up&Go in his hand before trying to throw it-and miss-into the trash bin

‘I don’t fucking know’

Caster replied not looking up from his phone, it was like 8:30 and he didn’t have the energy for James gossip.

‘nah-mate seriously’ he jabbed Caster in the shoulder impatiently, he didn’t answer but put his phone down and looked in the direction that James was pointing to.

it was a girl-she was a golden blonde and light eyed, freckles littered her cheeks and she looked around 5’3-5’5. She was laughing loudly, holding one of her friends hands and Caster noticed that when she smiled two dimples showed and that she had slightly pointer then average canines.

‘Wow a girl-crazy’ he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

James rambled on for a moment about blondes and how the school never got new people-which was definitely not true, they lived in Sydney there was always gonna be new people.

The girl was surrounded by one of the main groups in the school year, this wasn’t an American movie and there wasn’t really a ‘popular’ group but they where some of the friendliest and well known people in the year, Clay, Min-jun, Cindy and Jade circled around her in a weird bubble, Cindy pointed around the school yard showing her random sections and Min-Jun not so subtly gestured to random people and telling her about them.

‘anyway-that’s why I think brunettes are wife material and blondes are friend material’

Sighing Caster turned away from the girl and back to his friend

‘wow that’s crazy interesting dude-really deep’

not understanding the sarcasm James grinned and nodded looking pleased with himself

‘still tho what a babe’

TIMESKIP

Dove watched as her friends chatted on the train ride home, she’d known these guys since kindy but it was weird to finally been in the same actual school.

‘hey you all good?’ Clay asked suddenly noticing her quietness

the others looked up to her direction

‘hmm? Yeah I’m good thanks! Just been a long day’ she replied softly

‘I’ve got headphones if you wanna listen to some music and have some down time?’ Cindy said smiling as she rested a head on Doves shoulder.

‘Nah it’s okay-mine and Jades stop is soon-thanks tho’

Nodding Cindy got off her shoulder and turned to discuss some politics thing with Min-Jun. Eventually the train stopped and Jade and her both got off waving goodbye to their friends as they did.

…

‘so…-what’d you think about the school?’

‘oh! Uh-it’s nice-loud and full on but nice I guess’

Jade took Doves hand as they walked through their street the streets lights shining down on them.

Jade had moved in with Dove a few months back after her family decided to move back to England-jade had had a right fit about it and ended up staying behind to her delight.

‘As long as your happy’ Jade smiled, the street lights shone on her dark thick curls making them shine in golden light, everything about Jade was beautiful-from her golden brown doe eyes to her smile…a perfect picture.

‘I’m always happy’ Dove replied squeezing Jades hand

‘yeah-I know’

‘Oi-Cass!’

Bell barged into Casters room holding a twenty dollar note in her hand.

He looked up from his desk his night glasses resting on his nose

‘what?!’ He groaned shutting his laptop and looking over at his twin.

Bell and Cass were eerily similar-only in appearance of course- they both had 1C dark hair and almost black eyes, they were pale and tall, the only difference was Bell was a decent person to be around.

‘I’m on my period…I-uh would personally be super appreciate if you decided to go to the corner store and buy me some snacks’ Bell crossed her arms and handed him the twenty dollars.

Sighing Cass got up from his chair.

‘yeah okay-what do you want?’

Dove stared at their bedroom ceiling tracing the patterns with her eyes as she did. They turned over in her bed and twisted around trying to get comfortable. her uncle had recommended her to go to bed earlier but she couldn’t find it in herself to fall asleep.

she pulled on a jacket over her pjs and hopped out of bed walking out of her bedroom and through the halls and into the kitchen to where her uncle was having a beer

‘hey I’m going to the general store is that okay?’ She asked grabbing her wallet on the counter.

he looked up and smiled

‘sure pickle, just stay in the open streets and don’t be out for long-oh and keep your phone turned on’

Dove smiled and nodded before walking out the door

…

the door jingled as Cass walked through the store, going straight to the Asian snack section.

he looked down at the list Bell gave him

A cup of ramen (spicy beef flavour)

Two cans of melon soda

oreo and strawberry pocky sticks

Bin Bin rice crackers

white rabbit candy

‘Uh-um’

Cass looked up realising he was blocking the aisle

‘oh sorry-‘ it was the girl-the new girl from school, he stared at her not expecting to meet her especially not here, he decided to be polite for once and start a conversation.

‘your the new girl right-uh Daisy?’ He didn’t mean it but his voice came out uninterested and mean

‘Dove-my names Dove…not daisy’ she said awkwardly not really in the mood for a chat

‘huh-that’s a weird fucking name’ again he didn’t mean to sound so off putting but he always somehow ended up with that tone

‘Excuse me? No need to be a cunt’

she tilted her head at him confused at his staring and comments, she narrowed her eyes before walking past him.

the boy was cute-and tall but she was put off by his weird gaze, plus what a dick. He watched as she walked past him straight towards the pocky section-he watched in horror as she grabbed both the last strawberry and the last Oreo pocky box.

Against his better judgement he spoke

‘wait-uh do you really have to get those…ones?’ she turned around looking at him an eyebrow raised

‘Huh?’ She didn’t say it meanly but it was clear she was on edge

‘the pocky-those are the last two’

‘Well your obviously blind since there’s like a bunch here’ she gestured to the wall behind them

‘yeah but I need those two’ he said feeling impatient-he was cold and he could already feel Bells comment if he came back late AND without her favourite pocky flavours.

‘No one needs anything’ Dove scowled crossing her arms and glaring up at him

He laughed clearly frustrated

‘yeah well your wrong cause I need those’

Scoffing Dove walked past him and straight to the checkout

‘hey-wait please’ he groaned-shit, his mum was right his attitude was beginning to be a problem.

Dove walked out the door pleased with themselves leaving Caster alone in the shop defeated

@starrihideshere @livingsecret @ottaorca @gaiaexploreslife @catschasingstars @lovebvni @morganshifts @chloesreality @zipperrants

PT2?

this is super cringey and I absolutely hate myself for writing this 💀

[viesanterieures]

Locked In Mind

Robert Fischer (Inception) x female Reader

note: Welcome to my third Cillian Character fanfic, hope you like it :) I love plots like Shutter Island and tried to do something similar here & it‘s also a story about parasocial relationships and unrequited love. I think this is my darkest story and the one that stays with me the most, years after I wrote it...

summary: The reader is hopelessly in love with her boss Robert Fischer, but he doesn't seem to be interested in her. By an unexpected coincidence, they meet in the city and his sudden intense affection for her confuses her. The reader begins to suspect that something is wrong, and when she finally uncovers the truth about her encounters with Fischer the heartbreaking reality is revealed to her.

word count: 5000+

Masterlist

warnings: mental illness, depression

you don‘t have to watch the movie to understand the story.

It was just half past seven when she heard the familiar footsteps in the corridor approaching the office next door. A key was inserted into the lock and a moment later the door opened.

Glancing around to make sure her workspace wasn't too messy, she threw an old paper cup into the bin before her boss poked his head through the door.

"Good morning, Miss YN, so busy already?" he asked with a tired smile. "It doesn't reflect well on me as a boss to have my assistant here before me. I'm sorry, Monday mornings are always a bit stressful for me."

"No problem, Mr Fischer. I've already sorted the mail for you, it's on your desk," she said kindly, watching him as he took off his coat and hung it on the coat rack, a little damp from the rain.

"Thank you, I can count on you."

He was a very elegant, handsome man, about ten years her senior, with dark hair, blue eyes, high cheekbones and an elegant black suit. She must have stared at him a little too long, because he turned to her with a questioning smile.

Immediately her cheeks flushed and she turned back to her computer screen, but by then Mr Fischer had already approached her and placed some documents on her desk. "Please scan them all and email them to Mr Parker, he's been waiting for them for days," he said to her. It would be best if we sat down together later and quickly discuss my tasks for today, there is a lot to do. If I'm not mistaken, I have a client meeting at three today.

"At two, sir," she corrected him, handing him a planner with today's date thickly underlined.

He started to grin. "You see, this is exactly why I have an assistant."

Fischer disappeared into his office.

She sighed slightly and went to work scanning the documents. She had been working for Fischer Morrow, one of the world's largest energy companies, for barely a month. Their headquarters had moved from Sydney to London after the death of their CEO, Maurice Fischer. Her current boss, Robert Fischer, was a direct descendant.

She liked Fischer Jr a lot. He was friendly, supportive and didn't get angry when things didn't go to plan. But in some ways he always seemed so unapproachable. For example, he never talked about his private life and YN had no idea who he was outside of work. Then again, he was her boss and his private life was none of her business. But deep down she admitted that she was very interested in him.

The days flew by and she finally felt as if she had been employed by Fischer Morrow for an eternity. But who Robert Fischer really was remained a mystery.

One evening, as she was about to leave, she quietly opened the door to Fischer's office. He was sitting in front of his computer, his chin resting on his hands. "Have a nice evening, Mr Fischer." He jumped slightly, obviously not having heard her come in, but then he smiled. "Thank you, you too."

YN looked at her watch. "It's almost half past seven, don't you want to finish your work soon? Don't you have a wife waiting for you?"

Mr Fischer shrugged. "I've been divorced for a few years now, and I only see my daughter at weekends. The only thing waiting for me is an empty, dark apartment."

YN held her breath. It was the first time he had told her anything about his private life. But in the same second, he seemed to regret his words.

"No one waits for me either," she said. "Except for my cat."

Fischer raised an eyebrow with a smile. "At least that's something."

Finally she said goodbye and left the office. But all the way home, she kept thinking about her conversation with Fischer.

Was he perhaps as lonely as she was?

Tired, YN lay in bed. She didn't even have the strength to change her clothes and remove her make up. Although she wanted nothing more than to get out of that itchy, uncomfortable dress and tights. A soft meow sounded beside her and she felt something soft brush against her arm. Smiling, she pulled the cat closer and buried her face in its white fur.

Since leaving her small home village for London, she had no one to talk to. Her old friends had all left her and moved on with their own lives. Robert Fischer was the only one she spoke to regularly, though it was far from a friendship. With the cat in her arms, she turned to the other side. But what if she had feelings for him?

Maybe she should tell him. But wasn't that too much? He was still her boss, after all, and there were probably plenty of women who were interested in him.

She quickly pushed the thought aside and closed her eyes.

Robert Fischer turned curiously when he heard the quick clicking of heels in the corridor. Panting, his assistant opened the door and dropped her bag on the desk.

"Miss YN, are you okay?"

Her hair was messy, her coat hung loosely over her shoulders as if she hadn't had time to put it on properly, and her lipstick was a little smudged.

"I… overslept," she said, panting. "I'm sorry."

Fischer looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "It's okay. But it shouldn't happen again."

"Of course not, sir," she replied immediately.

He quickly disappeared into his office and returned with a thick stack of papers and a folder.

"Would you be so kind as to sort these documents alphabetically for me? They've been on my desk for days. I know it's not an exciting task."

She nodded and took the heavy pile from his hand. Fischer thanked her and hurried back to his office.

Sighing, she set to work. But with each page, she found her concentration fading and her mind wandering. Her head ached, her eyes burned and she felt incredibly tired. But she tried not to show it, kept working as hard as she could and finally put the sorted file back on Mr Fischer's desk.

Exhausted, she walked back to her office, sat down in her chair and buried her face in her hands. She was shivering and her ears were ringing. Was it because she had forgotten to take her medicine today?

"Miss YN?" she heard her boss' voice.

She turned immediately and forced a smile. "Yes, Mr Fischer?"

"I have an job interview scheduled for ten, would you be so kind as to prepare the conference room for it?"

"Of course, sir."

He stopped halfway and looked at Victoria questioningly. "Are you okay? You look so pale." She nodded quickly, forcing a smile. "Everything's fine, Mr Fischer." Fischer looked at her, raised his eyebrows, then handed her the key to the meeting room and disappeared back into his office.

A strange feeling of dizziness spread through her head as she walked down the long corridor leading to the conference rooms.

What was wrong with her today?

When it started to get dark outside, YN finally turned off her computer and grabbed her bag. The strange dizziness had improved during the day, leading her to conclude that she simply needed a break from work. Fortunately, it was Friday. She knocked gently on Fischer's door, as she always did before leaving, to wish him a pleasant evening. He was sitting there as usual, his chin resting on his hand, deep in thought. He glanced up briefly and nodded politely, noticing her in the doorway. He looked stunningly handsome today, even after this long and exhausting day.

"I didn't ask you how the job interviews went this morning," she asked curiously. Fischer shook his head. "Terribly," he said. "None of these people I'd want in my company." His voice was cold and dismissive, and for a moment she thought he was referring to her, even though she knew he meant someone else. She smiled awkwardly and shrugged slightly. "Well, maybe the next one will be better."

Fischer remained silent.

"Have a good weekend, Mr Fischer."

"You too, Miss YN." He gave her a friendly smile.

"Do you have any plans for the weekend? I know a good restaurant, would you like to join me?" The moment she realised what she had just said, she bit her lip, her face turning red. Had she completely lost her mind? She desperately hoped he hadn't heard what she'd asked, but it was too late. She could see Fischer raise his eyebrows in confusion and stare at her.

"No, Miss YN. I'm not interested. I keep my work and personal life strictly separate." She immediately looked down, embarrassed. Thoughts raced through her mind like a rollercoaster and her cheeks felt as if they were on fire. "I'm sorry, Mr Fischer, I shouldn't have asked you that." She finally grabbed her bag and left the office without another word, feeling Fischer's gaze on her back.

It was drizzling lightly as she walked through the busy streets of London. The cold air did her good and she felt her head clear a little.

Why had she done this? It had been clear from the start that a man like him would reject her. But the words had come out of her mouth as if she had completely lost control. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. She didn't want to have a mental breakdown in public, even though it felt like Fischer had torn her heart into a thousand pieces. Suddenly the strange dizziness returned and her vision blurred slightly. The sounds of London became muffled, as if she were incredibly far away.

Miss YN, wait!" she suddenly heard a voice behind her that seemed to be getting closer.

She turned around. The dizziness had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. Startled, her eyes widened as she saw the person in front of her - it was Mr Fischer. What was he doing here? Had he followed her? She tried to speak, but all she could manage was a hoarse stutter.

"I wanted to apologize, Miss YN. It wasn't very nice of me to brush you off like that," he said with a gentle laugh. His voice sounded strangely different, softer than usual. Wordless and spellbound, she stared into the pair of light blue eyes before her, apologetic and gentle in their expression. She knew Mr Fischer had blue eyes, but she'd never noticed how incredibly bright they were.

"It's okay, don't worry," she managed to say, her knees shaking with excitement.

"No, no, Miss YN. I'll think about the dinner offer, okay? Just because we work together doesn't mean we can't have dinner together, does it?" Fischer suggested, and she nodded slowly, then smiled.

Why this sudden change of mind?

"Well, see you soon." He waved goodbye and YN, still completely confused, raised her hand in response. But before she could form another thought, he had disappeared into the crowd.

Carefully, YN pressed the shutter on her old camera, focusing the lens on the small lake in front of her. Satisfied, she lowered it. She was confident that this snapshot would turn out well. This park was a place she often visited to clear her head and pursue her passion, photography, as it offered many beautiful subjects. Especially now, in autumn, when the trees were covered with colourful leaves and the silence was slowly descending, with only the occasional pedestrian passing by.

Her dizziness had eased a little, but not completely. Fortunately, it was Saturday and she had the whole day to herself. YN sat down on a bench under a tree that looked to be at least a hundred years old.

She sat there for a while, lost in thought. Eventually she got up and made her way to the West End. The streets of London were noisy and busy as she walked, looking for a warm place in a café and something to eat. Crowds of people rushed past her, music played from somewhere and loud voices filled the air. Exhausted, she rubbed her temples. Maybe she should have stayed home and rested.

Suddenly she held her breath as she spotted a familiar face in the crowd. Dark hair, high cheekbones and piercing blue eyes. Fischer. But before she could think, he had already noticed her and started to smile at her.

"Miss YN, how nice to see you! What a coincidence!"

It was the first time she had seen him in his casual clothes rather than one of his business suits. But this was no less elegant and stylish. He was wearing a well-fitting black coat, a grey knitted jumper underneath, black trousers and leather shoes. It was so strange to see him outside his office at Fischer Morrow Company. Suddenly he didn't seem so unapproachable and distant anymore.

"What are you doing here?" she asked curiously.

He paused for a moment. He seemed to be considering whether or not to tell her.

"I brought my little girl to her friend's house for a sleepover. She's been asking me for weeks because her mum won't let her."

"So you're a cool dad," YN replied.

Fischer rolled his eyes. "I'm the one who lets her get away with everything. We had to turn back twice because she realised she had forgotten her favourite stuffed animal and her toothbrush."

She laughed softly. In a strange way, she enjoyed him talking so openly about his life.

"Oh wow, that looks amazing. It's quite old, isn't it?" Mr Fischer pointed to the camera around her neck. "From the 1960s. But it takes incredibly good pictures for that time," she explained. Fischer seemed genuinely impressed. "Do you have more like it?"

"I have quite a few. From the 50s to the 80s, actually, and of course some modern digital cameras. Photography has been my passion since I was a child," she explained. Fischer looked at her with an interested smile. "So there's actually film in there that needs to be developed?" she nodded in confirmation. "Some photo shops still offer that service, yes."

Mr Fischer seemed genuinely interested in her hobby, asking her questions about it as they walked side by side through the streets of London. She felt incredibly comfortable in his presence and hoped he wouldn't leave so soon. Finally he pointed to the camera again. "Would you take a picture of me, please? I'd like a 60's style photo of myself." YN's heart began to race in her chest. What had he just said?

"Of course, Mr Fischer," she replied nervously. "Robert. My name is Robert," he replied. Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks, completely surprised. No one at Fischer Morrow Ltd called him by his first name, and outside the company she had only heard his uncle, Peter Browning, call him Robert.

"Let's find a nice spot for the photo," he said, letting his gaze wander until it settled on a beautiful fountain.

Carefully, she picked up the camera, took a few steps back and held it directly in front of Robert's face. "Smile, please," she instructed him, finally pressing the shutter.

A pedestrian who had just passed them looked at YN with a confused expression and shook his head. Frowning, she looked after him before carefully tucking the camera into her handbag.

Are you hungry?" asked Robert. "We could go to a restaurant."

Surprised, she looked at him. "I don't know…" she said hesitantly, chewing her lower lip. In fact, she had never expected to be asked such a question.

He looked at her with raised eyebrows and she could see the disappointment in his eyes. Finally, she worked up the courage to say what was on her mind.

"It's just… To be honest, you told me yesterday that you were someone who kept your work and personal life strictly separate. Maybe it would be better if we did. After all, I'm your employee."

As much as she wanted to spend time with him, she was afraid of developing any more feelings for him. Robert nodded slowly and shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

"I really like you. I just never wanted to show it, that's why I was so reserved with you and told you I wasn't interested in you".

She closed her eyes and let out a sigh as a ton of thoughts went through her head. Robert finally nodded at her with a slightly disappointed look on his face and turned on his heel.

"Wait!" she called after him.

He stopped immediately and looked at her hopefully.

"Let's give it a try, shall we?"

YN… is that a French name?"

Robert's voice sounded slightly tipsy as he grinned curiously at her, twirling his wine glass casually in his hands. The plate in front of him was empty and he had now carefully placed the cutlery on it, waiting for a waitress to take it away.

He had taken her to a rather fancy and expensive place, the walls were dark wood panelling, the chairs were covered in red velvet and soft jazz music was playing on one of the radios. Robert looked hauntingly beautiful that night. His skin seemed incredibly soft and flawless, his jawline even more prominent, and his blue eyes shone almost ghostly in the dim light, almost like he wasn’t real…

She smiled, nodded and took a sip from her glass. "My father is French. I grew up in France but moved to England when I was 15."

He nodded with interest, rubbing his chin with his forefinger.

"And you? I heard you're Australian," she asked curiously.

Robert laughed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Well, my accent makes it obvious."

YN blushed and looked down at her plate. What a stupid question.

But Robert didn't seem to mind too much, because he started talking about his life in Sydney, how he had finally moved to London after his father's death, and she listened with interest.

But suddenly he stopped and looked at her thoughtfully. "But I'm probably just boring you."

YN immediately shook her head. "No, you're not," she told him. "I find it really interesting to find out all this about you."

At that moment a waitress came to their table with a smile and asked YN in a friendly tone if she had enjoyed her meal. But the waitress paid no attention to Robert, YN noticed with surprise. Perhaps she was just being extra polite to the lady.

YN's date pulled out a black leather purse and rummaged through it. Quickly, YN pulled a few notes out of the bag and handed them to the waitress. "Keep the change," she said.

The waitress looked at her with wide eyes, "Thank you, ma'am," she said gratefully, "have a nice evening.

Then she turned and left the table.

"You didn't have to do that," Robert said. "As a gentleman, it's actually my job to pay."

She shook her head in amusement. "I bet that's never happened to you before, has it?"

Robert shook his head and took the last drink from his glass. There was a moment of silence between them.

"All right. So what's the plan for the rest of the evening?"

She looked at him in surprise. As soon as he said the words, she felt a tingle in her stomach.

The church clock struck twelve as she crossed the street hand in hand with Robert. It was freezing, and she had pulled her scarf so far up her face that only her eyes and nose were visible. Her date looked at her with amusement. "Are you going to rob a bank?" he asked, laughing out loud.

"Shh!" she snapped at him, putting her fingers to his lips. "You'll wake up the whole neighbourhood."

Although it was quite dark and she could only make out Robert, she knew that his typical mischievous grin was back on his face. She pulled him firmly behind her until they reached the small white building.

"Is this where you live?" Robert asked.

She put her finger to his lips for a second time until Robert stopped talking and looked silently into her eyes. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she finally stood on her toes, put her arms around his neck and placed her lips on his. Robert returned the kiss without hesitation and gently pulled her into his arms. YN could hardly believe what was happening. It was everything she had secretly wanted for months. They remained like this for a moment before she finally let go of him and reached for her key.

She felt for Robert's upper arm and finally pulled him into her apartment, closing the door behind him. She immediately wrapped her arms around him and began to kiss him again. His lips were a little cold and tasted of wine. Together they stumbled backwards into her bedroom, taking off his coat, which she tossed carelessly to the floor.

Robert's fingers stroked carefully along her hip and fumbled a little with her belt while she was busy planting little kisses on his neck. With slightly trembling hands she pulled his jumper over his head and Robert took her hand.

"Are you nervous?" he wanted to know. She remained silent.

"Don't be," he whispered softly into her ear, taking her in his arms again and pulling her onto the bed. Breathing softly, she clung to his chest, leaned back and finally closed her eyes as she felt his warm skin against hers.

The sun shone through the half-open curtains, creating a narrow, bright streak across the floor. Blinking, she opened her eyes and stretched. But immediately a sharp pain shot through her head again and she held her forehead tiredly. Confused, she sat up and tried to remember what had happened yesterday.

But when she heard soft breathing next to her, she turned quickly and all the events of last night came back to her. Smiling, she looked over at Robert, snuggled up next to her in her beige blanket, sleeping peacefully. Tenderly stroking his messy hair, she lay down beside him again and then began to caress his chest. Perhaps what they had done was wrong. After all, they were two people who should never have fallen in love. But it had happened, and it felt so right. They remained in this position for some time, Robert asleep and YN lost in thought.

Her eyes swept through the bedroom until they settled on a small white box on her dresser. Quickly sitting up, she reached for it and put a small pill into her mouth. Eventually, Robert began to move a little beside her, opening his eyes tiredly. Smiling broadly, she gave him a small kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Good morning," she whispered.

"Good morning," Robert murmured in a raspy morning voice.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked.

"Yes, wonderfully." He yawned loudly and took her into his arms as she laid her head lovingly on his shoulder.

"Wait, what time is it?" he suddenly wanted to know.

"Quarter past ten, why do you ask?" she replied.

"Shit," Robert muttered as he let go of the hug, jumped out of the bed and started to pick up his clothes, which were strewn all over the floor.

"Wait, wait, where are you going?" she asked, looking at him in confusion.

"I should've picked up my daughter by now," he replied, hurrying to get dressed.

Sighing, she pulled the blanket around her a little tighter. "Can't it wait? Can't you stay for breakfast?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm sure she's already waiting for me.“ Robert dodged her questions, grabbing his coat on the floor and sighing when he saw her disappointed look.

He walked slowly towards her, stroking her chin with his finger, and finally whispered: "We can catch up later." Then he put a soft kiss on her lips before turning around and disappearing through the door. She sank back into the pillows and pulled the blanket over her head.

The rest of Sunday flew by. Mostly because her mind was on Robert and she could hardly wait to see him again tomorrow at work. She had probably never looked forward to a Monday in her life as much as she did that day.

The next morning, YN carefully applied her lipstick and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She noticed that the collar of her white blouse was a little crooked and quickly adjusted it. She wanted to look her best for Robert today, so he wouldn't change his mind and lose interest in her.

Humming softly, she put on her black high heels and grabbed her handbag. She quickly put another pill into her mouth and put the box in her bag. Her headache was completely gone and her head finally felt clear and light again. In a good mood, she breathed in the fresh morning air and made her way to work.

Her heels clicked on the floor as she walked down the familiar corridor of Fischer Morrow. The lights were on in Robert's office. She ran a final hand through her hair, smoothed her blouse and opened the door to her own office.

The air was stuffy and hot. Coughing, she ran to the window and opened it.

"Good morning, Miss YN, I hope you had a nice weekend," a familiar voice sounded from behind her.

Startled, she turned to see Robert's face as he stuck his head through the door, as he always did.

Why didn't he call her by her first name? Confused, she stared at him, trying to form a clear sentence. "But… But… we spent it together…" her voice finally broke. Her head suddenly hurt again.

He seemed so different again. Not the Robert she had spent the weekend with, not the one who had apologised for being too rude to her, not the one who had made her laugh and told her about his life. He seemed more like the one she had worked with for months, the one who never revealed anything about himself.

"Miss YN? I haven't seen you since Friday, when you left my office after… asking me that question."

Her heart almost stopped. Suddenly her knees gave way and she sank to the floor.

"Are you okay? Are you feeling unwell?" Concerned, he bent down to her. "Do you want to go home and rest?"

She nodded slightly and wiped a tear from her eye, which had turned her fingers black from the carefully applied mascara. Then she got up and left the office.

At home, she lay motionless on her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't think straight and her throat felt incredibly dry. The door to her room, which was only ajar, opened gently and something small and white slipped through. Sniffling, she stretched out her arms and lifted her cat onto the bed.

Everything that had happened that weekend had been fake. She had made it all up. And all of this happened because she had forgotten to take the pills she was taking for her hallucinations. Robert hadn't really followed her on Friday evening; it was all a figment of her imagination. While his real self was still sitting in the office, probably not thinking about her at all. Everything suddenly made sense: why Robert looked a bit different, why his voice sounded different, the waitress who ignored him on Saturday because she couldn’t actually see him, the pedestrian who gave her a confused look because she was talking to herself while taking the photo.

The photo.

She immediately got up, put on her shoes and walked to the photo shop where she had left the film to be developed. Her heart raced as the staff handed her the envelope with the photos. Trembling, she finally grabbed the Saturday night photo, without looking at it herself, and held it up to the staff's face. "What do you see?" she asked.

The young man looked at her in confusion, but remained polite. "The fountain at Piccadilly Circus. Great picture, it turned out really nice."

"Anything else?" she asked.

"No, ma'am," he replied, and it felt like a slap in her face. Fischer had never been there with her. Only her lonely and sad mind had led her to believe that he was interested in her and loved her. Tears welled in her eyes and she left the shop without another word. When she got home, she immediately took the white box of pills from her handbag, rushed into the kitchen, opened the box and poured the pills into the bin.

Crying and with burning eyes, she finally lay down on her bed and buried her head in the pillow as her cat purred softly beside her. She must have stayed like that for hours, as the sun began to set again outside her window. When she finally lifted her head and wiped the tears from her face, she saw a dark-haired man sitting beside her bed, looking at her lovingly with his pale blue eyes. A smile suddenly appeared on her face and she began to laugh, pulling the man into a tight embrace.

some explanations because i know that story is kinda mind-fucking:

• Is Robert Fischer all a creation of the readers mind?

- No he actually exists, he’s her boss and she‘s in love with him, so she imagines dating him.

• When is he real, when is he fake?

- The version Robert Fischer in the office is real, he turns her down when she asks him out, leaving YN heartbroken. The moment she leaves the office, she starts to imagine what it would be like if he apologised to her, so the man who follows her is just her imagination. The real Robert Fischer is still in his office at Fischer-Morrow.

When she visits the city on Saturday and meets "Robert" and goes on a date with him, it's also just her imagination. That's why other people react to her with confusion, because she's basically talking to herself all the time. On Sunday morning, when she wakes up next to him, he's still fake. When she takes her pills, he quickly "disappears" (he says he has to pick up his daughter...) because they stop her delusions.

On Monday morning, when she gets back to her office, the real Robert Fischer is there again, who hadn't seen her since he had rejected her on Friday evening.

When she gets home, she throws away her pills and her hallucination starts again. The man who sat next to her on her bed and comforted her is again the imaginary version of Robert.

[svnaaaaaa]

Monte Carlo : Charles Leclerc AU (Part Six)

pairing : charles leclerc x fem reader

summary : making things up, y/n and charles finding ways towards each other.

warning(s) : none

previous : part five

next : part seven

masterlist

author's note : might be the shortest part ever. sorry.

tagging : (if you want to be tagged in, let me know)

recap :

charles looked at y/n with disappointment on his facial expression, making y/n looked at the floor. "i can explain this, please give me time." y/n begged, charles shooked his head no. "i've got no time with you, this situation is giving enough of explanation, besides the real amélie has given me enough explanation." charles informed as y/n looked at charles with shock face. "amélie? w-what do you mean by that?" y/n asked, charles walked towards the door. "i don't know who you are but if you're here to play with my feelings, you're wrong. to think that i started to feel comfortable around you, i knew something was wrong." charles told y/n and then he left the office room, making y/n slumped onto her knees. grace ran towards y/n, grabbing by her shoulders. "shh, you're okay y/n." grace whispered as she pulled y/n into a hug while y/n started to cry her eyes out.

-

a month later.

noah still got a month left before new semester started. amélie came back to monte carlo to look after y/n since the charles incident. and y/n, working hard and have been focusing on her work for her studies. which worrying everyone surrounds her. grace, especially. day time in the office without leaving it even for lunch break, except bathroom breaks. night time in the room of the suite, not eating anything except for drinking water.

and grace have never seen her like this before. but she have seen her sister like this before. it was the effect of a heartbreak.

weeks after weeks, it was the day they were suppose to went back to university of sydney. but grace went alone because y/n wanting to go to her uncle isaac's home in canada, montreal to be exact. "hey kiddo." uncle isaac greeted as he saw y/n in his view. y/n smiled weakly at his way and went into his arms of hug. uncle isaac chuckled as he brushed through his niece's hair. "tough life, huh?" uncle isaac asked and he felt his niece's head nodded against his chest. uncle isaac nodded his head too, understood what was happening to his niece a month ago. it was told by noah and uncle isaac decided to bring y/n here for her recovery.

"so i see that the auction party went well, did you had fun back then?" uncle isaac asked as he placed y/n's comfort drink in front of her. "it was fine, i am happy that i could help." y/n replied as she slowly sip on the drink. uncle isaac smiled at the reply.

from what has been told by noah, y/n replaced amélie's place as amélie to the monaco grand prix because of the pr purpose but apparently, y/n developed feelings towards one of the drivers from ferrari, charles leclerc. but then, it eventually exposed when charles called the real amélie and things turned bad since then. now here is y/n, in montreal.

-

a jacket was thrown on y/n's head. y/n took it off of her head and looked at the one who threw it at her way. it was amélie. amélie? "get up loser, we have some guy to beat up on." amélie said as she grabbed y/n's hands and pulled her up, making y/n stands up. y/n groans. "why?" y/n whined as she almost slumped back onto the couch but caught by noah. "because we care for you and we want you to be happy." noah replied as he wrapped his arms around his sister's waist. y/n sighed. "i don't deserve to be happy." y/n said and she groaned and slumped into noah's arms, making noah tighten up his grip. "no, you don't." noah said as he chuckled.

"come on, we have a race to go." noah announced as he pushed y/n out of the house.

-

"charles." the brunette turned around and saw his spaniard partner, calling for him. charles went to him. "i know i should not interfere into your personal problems but don't you think it has been a long time since you talked to her?" carlos asked, making charles sighed. "mate, i should have not be with her in the first place. i don't even know who she is, she's not real." charles replied and this time carlos sighed. "i know this is not my place to intervene but she's real." carlos said as he holds charles' shoulders and then he turned charles around. charles' eyes widen up. "and she's here." carlos ended and he let go of charles' shoulders.

charles saw y/n walked her way towards him. charles noticed that she looks a bit pale. her lips were in pale peach colour, her complexion seems to fade its colour. her eyes, looks almost sunken. charles shorten the walk by walking towards her way and their meet each other. it was silent even if they were surrounded by people and noise.

"are you okay?"

was all charles asked. y/n looked up at him and charles could see the sorrowness reflected on her eyes. he gave an impact on her. her feelings for him were genuine. and he broke her heart.

"i don't expect you to forgive me but i am sorry. i meant nothing wrong, maybe i just caught up with my feelings." y/n explained herself as charles slowly pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. "it's okay, i forgive you." charles said and he felt her arms wrapping around his waist. charles smiled weakly.

"i love you."

y/n pulled away from the hug and once again, looked up at him. "what?" y/n asked in disbelief and charles keep on smiling at her. "i love you y/n." charles repeated again and this time, he cupped y/n's cheeks. "for a whole month, ever since i left you, i keep on thinking about you." charles started as he carassed his thumbs on y/n's apple cheeks, making him smiled.

"i imagine of how you would be there at the paddock, cheering for me after races. how you and me go back home to a place both of us felt like home, and i even imagine you and i, maybe a wedding." charles ended his speech. y/n's eyes brighten up. "a wedding?" y/n asked, making charled chuckled. "m-maybe in the future, sure." charles replied as y/n smiled at the thought. "i like that." y/n answered and then as they were about to lean in, charles' engineer entered.

"charles, gear up now." xavi said as both charles and y/n chuckled. "see you after the race?" charles asked and y/n nodded her head yes, smiling brightly at charles. "i will be here." y/n replied, making charles kiss y/n's head lightly.

[chrizztopher97]

WARNING: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

DOM!Chan, SUB!FemReader, swearing, oral, piv, protected sex, marking, breast play, praise, jealous behaviour (Chan), name calling (babygirl, darling, good girl, cutie, darling), fluff.

You, Y/N Lee, and your brother, Alexander, finally arrived to your new University.

Universal University, situated in Melbourne, a brand new place where international students could finally gather from all around the world and find their own path. They can study anything and everything they want, they choose their own courses and can always change path based on their own accord. Celebrities would also study and attend there, some open about it and others asking for the private VIP zone to not get disturbed.

"You think we'll find lots of celebrities here?" Your older brother questioned, his hands still on the wheel as he looked for a place to park the car.

"Who knows, for all I've gathered from the pamphlet of the uni, many people got switched to this building for practical reasons so.. why not." You answered as you rummaged inside your handbag to get the map of the university premises.

Once again you've looked at the entire map, it felt as if you would enter an entire city rather than just a mere campus.

"Holy shit, look at the entrance baby sis." Alexander's voice caught your attention making you gaze up from the paper you were holding.

"Damn, feels like royalty." You joked as he finally parked the car.

The ten hours ride suddenly felt non-existent on your shoulders but you knew your brother would end up falling asleep by the time he got inside his dorm room.

"Thank God we returned in Australia earlier." You murmured stepping out of the vehicle, hanging your handbag on your shoulder.

"Yeah, we definitely took the right call. If we didn't catch that flight from Seoul..." he mumbled opening the trunk of the car.

"We would have probably missed the chance of resting back home in Sydney before the ride." You giggled shaking your head as you got your luggage.

"Not only that." He spoke as he took his baggage. "We wouldn't have had the time to send our stuff right here. Imagine the trouble in moving around with all those boxes while we tried to find our rooms." He said closing the trunk and locking the car.

"For real, specially because I easily get lost." You pouted making him laugh profusely.

Joking around as you walked the long path of the entrance, you took in the surroundings. The fresh air engulfing your body, hair brushed by the delicate wind. You inhaled deeply and smiled.

The campus definitely looked way bigger than what the map designed. The main building being the place where you'll be studying, on the right a huge cafeteria as big as a 3 Star Michelin restaurant, right next to it the dormitory looking like a huge apartment building, right next to it the health care building with a pharmacy and some doctors as per instructed in the pamphlet and then, as if it wasn't enough, a gym. You also read there would be some stadiums for sports such as football, basketball, volleyball, etch...

"Where was the lobby to get our room keys and stuff?" Alexander's voice brought you back from your trance as you looked around.

Your gaze swifted from the green trees to the map. "In the main building." You mumbled pointing at the big sign.

You silently thanked the person who opened this campus for putting signs in front of the buildings or else you would have ended up in the cafeteria instead of your dorm room.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

After getting your room keys and the floor number you walked to the dormitories, aiming at the still opened elevator that was right in front of you.

As you saw it slowly closing, you called out politely. "One sec, please."

Thankfully whoever was in put their hand in the semi closed door and held it still, leaving you space to enter. Unknowingly thanking with a small bow as per habit for all the time you've lived in Seoul, South Korea, you entered.

Squeezing inside the elevator, you put yourself right in the corner, perfectly fitting as you didn't really excell in height. You despised that characteristic of yours but it did come in handy in these kind of situations.

"Press floor eight, if you didn't." You whispered as you nudged your brother's arm making him pointing at the button already pressed.

"Can't wait to take a shower and doze off." He mumbled resting his arm on your head making you look up to him and shook his arm off.

"I'm not an arm holder." You scoffed him off as you yawned. "But lucky you, I'll probably be wide awake even though I've slept what? Two hours?" You whined stretching your arms up.

Once the elevator arrived to your floor, you exited and thanked once again the guys that were slowly walking out the lift right behind you.

"Wow!" You exclaimed looking at the huge window that showed a forest outside.

More than the scenery, you were more surprised at how the first wow came out, reminding you of the way Bang Chan would say it. Making you unknowingly giggle at the thought.

Yes, you were a STAY since God's Menu era even though you used to listen to Stray Kids and 3RACHA music since pre debut, you just didn't have much time to get into details but when you did, it felt like diving into an ocean of affection, laughter and fun.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Once in front of your dorm room, you turned around and gave a light hug to your brother who kissed your head before turning and going to his room right in front of yours.

Unlocking the room, you heard the water coming from the shower running, giving you signal that your roommate would be already there.

Taking off your shoes, you walked barefoot to the empty bed, probably the one you'll be sleeping from now on.

Without waiting a second, you put on your earpods and knocked softly at the door of the bathroom.

"Hi, I'm Y/N. Your roommate. Take your time in the bathroom, we can introduce ourselves later." You spoke nicely as you tied your hair in a tiny ponytail.

After connecting your pods you listened to music as you unpacked your boxes. Humming from time to time, you put the last frame on your nightstand, a picture of Channie smiling towards your way to give you the best of the good mornings.

Sighing deeply you finally adjusted your painting supplies in the small desk in front of your bed, right next to the small library.

"I guess this should be it." You mumbled looking at the empty boxes sighing at the idea of having to fix your clothes inside the wooden wardrobe.

"Shoulda have started with the clothes first.." You whispered to yourself as you opened the closet's doors, closing the ones occupied.

Once you settled all your clothes, you made a quick call to your brother.

"You sleepin', Alex?" You questioned while fixing an outfit to wear to dinner.

"Restin'.. Took a good shower after settling in. Tell me whenever you're ready for dinner." He whispered quietly, as if he tried his best to not fall asleep on you.

"Call you when I'm ready. Rest well, bro." You mumbled taking your bathroom beauty case and closing the call.

Finally the bathroom door opened revealing your roommate. It took you a while to take in the information of the face in front of yours. You look behind at your posters and then back at your roommate.

"Hey, you must be my roommate." The guy said with his deep voice as he dried his hair with a towel.

Nodding you shook your head and moved your hand ahead. "Nice to meet you, I'm Y/N Lee." You smiled warmly as he looked at you.

"That must be why." He chuckled shaking your hand. "Felix Lee." He introduced himself taking a glance behind, staring at your wall adorned with frames of Stray Kids. "But I'm pretty sure you already know." He joked pointing at a picture of himself.

"I can take them down if you feel uncomfortable." You instantly answered, hoping he wouldn't feel any negative vibe from it.

"I don't mind at all." Shaking his head he went to sit on his bed.

After chatting for a few seconds you went inside the bathroom so you could freshen up.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Wrapped in a towel you went outside the bathroom and without looking around, you grabbed your outfit and lingerie.

"You remember only things you want, uh?" You cursed your brain as you closed the bathroom door behind you.

Drying your short, curly hair with a towel, you dressed up in your black cargo pants and a gold silky tanktop. Making sure to fix your nipple piercings the best way you could inside your laced bra.

Once completely ready you took your phone and texted your brother.

You: "Ready."

Spraying your Black Musk fragrance you put on your boots and looked around in case you missed anything.

"Going out as well?" Your roommate voice caught your attention.

"Yup. Gon' have dinner with my brother." You responded looking at him, who was also ready to go out.

"I guess we'll catch up later then." He mumbled opening the door so the both of you could step out.

Nodding you waved at him and pulled your brother by the wrist. "I'm famished."

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Walking side by side with him, you couldn't stop thinking at the fact that your roommate was one of the members of that boy group you loved so much. You've silently thanked the secretaries that mixed the details and thought that you and Felix were siblings. For some reasons he always gave the aura of being your bestie if you've ever got to know him personally.

"Oh, guess who's my roomie?" Alex caught your attention as you walked the long path to the cafeteria.

You looked at him, definitely curious and puzzled but didn't reply. Waiting for him to reveal it.

"That Kim Seungmin of your favourite boy band." He whispered to your ear, making you halt in your steps.

"No way!" You exclaimed.

"Mine is Felix." You confessed as you returned to your steps.

"What a match." He chuckled wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

Chit chatting you finally arrived at the cafeteria. Entering you gasped, almost loudly. It was like an Expo. Sections with flags of every country that served their own food.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You were sitting on the bench, looking outside the window as you mindlessly ate your food and listened to your brother's rumbling.

"Care if we join you?" A deep voice brings you out of your trance.

"Felix, of cour.." You turned your gaze to the blond haired guy that was talking to you, your brain processing the other seven guys. Eyes fixed on him. "..se" you finished your sentence, trying to break away your staring.

Hearing a giggle coming from your brother, you kicked him under the table making him laugh.

Trying to keep it cool, you just smiled from time to time, your ears slightly alerted at every noise making you kinda itchy.

"So, Y/N.." Felix spoke to you, making you look up from your table.

"Yeah?" Setting the steel chopsticks on the napkin, you mumbled unknowingly using your silly face. :]

"This is your brother, correct?" He questioned pointing at Alex.

"Ah, yes. Alexander is my brother." You nodded.

As you reached for your cup, another hand reached out.

"Ah sorry, is this yours?" You giggled looking besides you only to see him.

Straightening your shoulders, you almost chocked on nothing.

"It's fine. No worries." He spoke softly, a smile forming on his lips.

Your eyes unable to look away. His curly hair falling on his forehead in such messy yet so curate curls, his eyes beaming and glowing under the lights, his nose scrunched softly as his plush, plump, soft, definitely kissable and sweet, tender lips were forming a smile. His cheeks looking so squishy with those cute and adorable dimples showing.

"I see now." Felix voice mumbled making your brother laugh once again.

You turned around, face front looking at Alex and Felix in the eyes.

"You two, shut it." You mouthed, trying to not look suspicious.

"We're all chatting yet we didn't even properly introduced each other." Changbin said, making your heart ache at his adorable English accent.

"Ah, I'm Y/N Lee and this is my brother Lee Yoonchan Alexander." You proceeded in handing out your hand to him.

Handshake after handshake, your hand almost visibly trembled making you reach for your thigh to grip on with your nails so that no one would notice your hand shaking. Specially him.

"I'm Bahng Christopher Chahn but you can call me Chris if you want." His sweet and so gentle voice spoke. His eyes fixed on yours as he extended his hand for a handshake.

"You're not dropping it, uh?" Felix giggled looking over at you making you blush as you delicately and definitely unwillingly retracted your hand from that handshake.

"It's not so unnoticeable, come on." You joked pointing at your tattoo.

It was the Stray Kids' compass with small SKZOO scattered as stars.

"Oh, a STAY?" Minho clapped his hands, making you smile.

"Fuck yeah." You flexed your phone case making him chuckle.

'How cute' you thought. You always loved his laugh.

"You two give off way different vibes." Seungmin said, looking at you and then at your brother.

"Ah.. that's 'cause I was adopted." You simply explained making them gasp.

"How come you two look alike?" Jeongin questioned shocked.

"Do we?" You questioned puzzled as you looked at Alex.

"Ah, I have no idea baby sis. We've been together for years that I even forgot you were adopted." He chuckled patting your hand.

After explaining your background, making them curious and nod at every word you said, they almost jumped on you as they thought it was so hard for you.

"Y'all, I am happy I got adopted. I closed my relationship with my blood." You halted your hands as if to make them relax.

"Well, family is where your heart belongs." Chris mumbled understanding.

"And home is where your heart belongs." You answered, eyes looking at him for more than a minute before looking at the others.

For some reason, you just couldn't hide it but you did wonder if he caught up on it.

Finishing your meal, you stood up and decided to grab dessert. Taking your tray, you excused yourself as you passed among Christopher, Changbin, Jisung and Hyunjin's legs. Clueless of anything, you just went to grab whatever you craved.

In the meantime, Chris eyes lingered on you more than you could ever imagine.

"You might want to let it pass. She doesn't even notice the way she moves nor how she is." Alexander spoke as he shook his head, as he looked at Chan for a moment.

"What do you mean?" Changbin spoke after clearing his throat.

"She was never this, how to say, hot." Taking a pause for a moment to formulate his sentence. "She used to look cute back when she was 20 years old." He explained about the time you used to look before establishing in Seoul. "Then she started going to the gym, exercising like an obsessed, then the piercings and tattoos. Not that I mind but as I didn't grow up with her, I could definitely see her change." He continued. "To not mention how she moves and walks, she is truly clueless." As he spoke he looked at you on your way back to the table. "I'm pretty sure she thinks she's not attractive so that's why she doesn't notice the way she moves around so attractively." He explained and went silent as you arrived at the table.

Setting the tray on the table, you put it in the middle, as if sharing it with Chris. Your breath hitting his neck, your breats softly brushing against his back.

"Excuse me once again." You mumbled walking around and stepping between their legs. Your ass facing their faces.

"Gosh." You could hear Chris whisper, making you puzzled as you sat back on your seat.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Back in your dorm room, after passing the night with the guys, you found yourself sitting on your bed and Felix there, looking at you as if begging you to spill the tea.

"Fine!" You mumbled fidgeting with your fingers. "I might have had a thing for him but today, that I finally met him, I just realised I do have solid feelings for him." You whispered, hoping he wouldn't hear from the next door.

Yes, his dorm room was right next to yours.

"Want me to set you up?" He questioned making you instantly blush.

"Oh, I can't do that." You shook your head, feeling guilty.

"I'd love to but I can't.." You mumbled.

You always thought that even if there was the slightest chance of meeting him and have a personal acquaintance with him, you would never be able to be a burden to him, to his work, to... STAY. As one, you saw many sides of the fandom. Some would be thrilled of seeing Stray Kids dating but there are some that scare you, even though you didn't care about the hate of others.

"Just know that whenever, I can always bring your name up with him." He whispered, his voice casually sounding deeper at night. "Casually asking if his eyes ever lingered on you." He teased ruffling your hair.

Shaking your head you softly hit him with your Bbokari pillow.

The night passed with you playing some videogames together and chit chatting.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

A couple of months passed and you were thrilled of the upcoming holidays. Today it would have been your last pottery and painting lesson for the semester and you just couldn't wait. The reason.. your best friend was going to be your muse. You always hinted something that happened with him in your paintings but for today's portray you had free volition on whatever you wanted to draw. No guidelines nor censorship. Your creativity only.

"Ready for pottery, babygirl?" Chris poked your cheek as you walked around with your supplies for the art lesson afterwards.

Babygirl was one of the pet names he loved to call you with. As you two got to know each other, you found out that you were more similar than what you already known. From your facial habits to your hand movements. Even when you had fun doing choreographies and singing with the members, you would catch yourself moving or making the same expressions as him. You loved it.

"Cutie, you there?" He flicked your nose making you bite his finger.

"Yes, Chris. I'm ready." You pouted as you sipped on your boba.

"You okay?" He questioned, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you softly.

"Yeah, just thinking." You mumbled looking on your phone realising the day.

"Shit." You gasped almost choking on your drink.

"What? What happened?" Chris questioned looking at you puzzled.

"I have a date with Justin." You mumbled wanting to slam your head against the wall.

"Ah, I see. That guy." He mumbled trying not to sound weird to your ears. Not that you noticed anyways, he always sounded like that whenever you mentioned guys in general.

As you kept on walking to find the classroom, you couldn't stop thinking about how you didn't even want to go on that date. Justin seemed like a cute and funny guy but he definitely didn't set your heart ablaze. The only one for you was still Chris but you just didn't know what to do with him. You just secretly put on a line to not cross by yourself. If he ever did, you would have gladly erased it.

During pottery, your eyes laid on his arms. He would always use short sleeved arms and would always position himself in front of you so that you could chat. He always thought you looked there just to know what he makes or how to use your own hands on your own crafting. It made it so easy for you to stare at his hands, at him.

His hands and wrists freed from his jewelry, making his veins pop out even more. Eyes fixed on his dirtied, calloused and long fingers, his wide thumb making you lick on your own lips as your imagination went far ahead in time.

"Your mug is slightly crushed, darling." Chris teased making you blink twice before noticing.

"Fuck." You cursed as you laughed.

"Here.." Standing up, he sat on the spot unused of the chair you were sitting on. "Let me help you, yeah?" He mumbled moving his arms between your sides, his face resting on your shoulder as he moved his hands with yours. "This is your eight mug and you still can't get it good at the first try, uh?" He teased, his hot breath hitting on your skin.

'Ask yourself two questions.' You thought as you looked at his thumbs caressing the back of your hands. 'You're too distracting.'

His fingers moving along with yours as you crafted the mug you'll cherish forever. His chest moving at every inhale and exhale he took, brushing against your back. Biting your lower lip, your eyebrows twitched as you fought your best to not close your thighs. Gulping down you felt the way his lap moved on the sides of your legs.

"Good girl, just like that." He whispered retracting his hands from yours.

Your mind coming to your senses as he stood up, making you feel empty. You looked at the mug and smiled.

"Where are you going?" You questioned almost begging him to sit there and hold you once again.

It wouldn't have been a first anyways. You would always watch movies together, cuddling, fall asleep together, sometimes staying up all night at your shared balcony to talk and hug. You never kissed once, even when you were drunk with him, you would always feel sober in some aspects. You would remind your drunk self to never kiss him, never strip in front of him, never bring out naughty jokes that you would normally do when you're sober. Naughtiness and flirting was normal between you but you always knew when to stop.

Not wanting to make it hard for him.

"But it's complete." He whined looking at his own bowl that was left uncompleted.

"Carve it for me, please?" You pouted cutely as you looked up at him, blinking a few times.

"Ugh.." He groaned shaking his head, sitting back behind you.

As he took a carving knife, he looked at you, waiting for your orders.

'Fuck, I can't just resist that face of your's.' Chris thought, as he kept it cool.

After all he was used to hide his emotions, hide his expressions so that others wouldn't know what went through his head.

"Draw me Wolf Chan, please." You poked his inner thigh making him jolt.

"Oh-ho, you want me to carve you myself?" He teased, his lips brushing on your ear.

"You surely serve the best for later." He whispered, nose stroking against your cheek.

"Remember that you share the same classes with people that could also be your fans." You whispered poking his thigh once again.

'The more you do that, the more I can't resist it.' He thought, eyes lingering on yours before he started carving what you asked him to.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Finally it was time for your date with Justin. You got ready, a dark magnetic blue tanktop, and tech pants, on your feet your Star Hike Converse that you let Hyunjin turn it into a personal customised official Stray Kids merch. Taking your varsity jacket and your handbag, you got out.

Once at the cafeteria, you had dinner with Justin, the first time you've ever ate dinner without your brother or Chris.

The conversation was barely moving, you didn't really match but you just kept your other nice personality. It felt rather suffocating not being able to be yourself, your unfiltered self that you'd want your other half to see, to learn, to enjoy... To love.

After some time, as you walked at the campus' park, you looked around and sighed softly.

"What a nice weather, the breeze is amazing." You said, your eyes staring at the leaves moving.

"Not really my kind of weather." Justin chuckled, making you close your eyes.

'Don't mind it...' You thought. 'Suck it up, it's just the first date.'

As you conversated with Justin, not really enjoying how he never said he enjoyed anything you liked. Chris was hiding behind a tree, listening to whatever that guy was saying.

"Summer is my favourite season. I always go to the beach and have fun." Justin spoke making Chris' mouth twitch in anger.

'She loves fall and spring. Not summer, you dumbass.' He silently cursed at the guy.

"Ah, I see." You smiled nodding as you bent down to grab a fallen leaf.

The moment the guy's eyes laid on your ass, Chris clenched his jaw. Fist closed in a punch ready to be thrown.

'Eyes off.' He thought as his head twitched in anger.

The guy looked at you as you rummaged inside your handbag, you felt something weird so you turned around and looked at it from inside, slightly under the streetlights.

"Alex..." You cursed him as you found what he previously slid inside your bag when he was in your room.

A condom.

'As if I'm gonna do anything with this dude...' You thought.

"Would you like to.. spend the night together?" Justin's voice brought your mind back to your conversation.

Christopher from behind the tree on the verge of throwing his fists at him. Eyes burning him from afar.

"Know each other better..." The blond guy mumbled. "Physically..." He whispered in your ear making you look up to him.

The moment you were about to push the guy aside, loud steps came from behind you.

"She's not interested." A voice you well recognised spoke, making you turn around.

"And you are?" Justin questioned smirking, as if insinuating that a random dude came just to get you.

"Her fucking best friend." Not a second later his fist came in contact with Justin's face.

"Minho, what are you doing?!" You exclaimed pushing him from his chest.

Christopher fists relaxing as he saw his bandmate approaching you before he did. Making it easier to not mess it completely up between you and him.

"Now, you either leave or I'll beat you once again." Minho spoke harshly as he looked at that guy with hatred.

"Whatever." The guy scoffed and left.

You turned around and hinted Minho to take a seat on the bench near a tree.

"What are you doing here?" You questioned in disbelief.

"I came to hear that the guy you had a date with today, went on a date last night as well." He spouted. Fists hitting the wooden bench.

"I was about to turn him down anyways." You mumbled.

"Just... date him." He whispered looking at you. "He will surely treat you better and will definitely never pull any kind of bullshit like any other guy would." Bringing you into a hug, he caressed your hair.

"You know I can't..." You whispered, head falling on his shoulder.

"Fuck that. Fuck any other guy." Minho mumbled sighing.

Christopher, still listening from behind the tree was confused, puzzled from your conversation. He never thought you were already interested in someone else. He always thought you didn't think of dating up until now. He always thought that your remarks about some guys were just words. Silently he retreated and went to his dorm room.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Once there, he took off his clothes and wore some sweatpants and a sleeveless shirt. He grabbed a bottle of water from the mini fridge and went to the balcony, looking at the forest up ahead.

"She had someone in her mind all this time and she didn't tell me?" Chris questioned to himself.

"If Minho even told her to ask that guy... then he must be good for her..." Puzzled he leaned in and lowered his head.

"Hey..." A soft voice came from behind.

Chan turned around and saw you. Not wanting to let you know that he knew all about your date, he smiled at you. You could easily tell that he wasn't feeling good.

"How was the date?" He questioned leaning at the balcony's barricade.

"We weren't a match." You just replied, taking a place right besides him.

"Wanna talk about it?" He questioned, wrapping an arm on your shoulders.

"Just, meh.." You didn't know what to tell. "I just thought that if I went on a date with someone, I'd forget about my feelings for this one guy but I just got reminded how much I fucking love him." You explained, as you looked ahead.

The moon was shining so brightly. The full moon was covering you both, wrapping you under it's light.

Christopher standing right behind you, held his hands on the barricade, clenching his fingers around it. His arms flexing as he pressed his chest against your back. His crotch brushing against your ass making you blush.

"Can I know this guy's name?" He questioned, sounding annoyed by this new information he learnt about.

Resting your head against his chest, you looked up to him. Tired of pretending you just let it out. "You really didn't notice?"

"I'm pretty dense when it comes to that, babygirl." He whispered against your skin.

"You should know that." His eyes looking at you.

A look so tender and sweet that it made you melt on his body.

'How could I even think of dating someone else?' You thought as your eyes lingered on his.

"You're either that naive or... you just like teasing me..." You whispered, your eyes swifting their gaze on his plush lips.

"Baby, enlighten me." He whispered taking a step forward, pressing his body onto yours.

"Chris..." You whispered closing your eyes. "You should have known by now."

"Is it one of us?" He questioned softly.

Nodding silently, you could feel him against your ass.

"You're so mean..." You whispered, opening your eyes staring into his eyes.

"Am I?" His voice deeper as he lowered his tone.

"You're so damn mean..." Your voice turning even softer.

"I'll fight him, whoever it is." He mumbled turning you around.

After trying to give him hints as you kept on talking, before going to sleep, you decided to drop a bomb on him.

Taking off your laced panties you threw them his way before going inside and closing the door of the balcony.

"He should catch up to that, right?" You questioned, face all heated and red as you looked at Felix in disbelief.

"If he doesn't get it, then he's lost it." He mumbled handling you some water.

"Ah, you okay if I go somewhere for a moment?" Felix questioned putting his phone inside his pockets.

"Don't worry about me." You mumbled going to the bathroom.

Cleaning yourself, you sprayed some of your natural rose essential scent all around your body and then wrapped your silky robe around your curves. Coming outside of the bathroom, you noticed Chan standing up from your bed pulling you into his embrace. Lips pressed onto yours making your tensed body melt into his arms.

"You should have given me those panties months ago, babygirl." He whispered kissing you once more.

"You oblivious." You whispered into the kiss.

As you always thought, his lips were definitely sweet, tasty and kissable.

"You should have known my feelings too..." He whispered, brows furrowed as he desperately kissed your lips.

As your lips crushed against each other, your tongues roamed around each other's mouth. Feeling tingly, you clenched your fingers around the cloth of his shirt. In response he grabbed you and sat back on your mattress, seating you onto his lap. Making him groan under you.

You could feel it. He was hard. This was the first time he didn't move away from you which made you unknowingly bite his lower lip, making him grunt inside your mouth.

"Fuck baby..." Holding you by your hips, his prints gripped on your body through the thinnest layer of your robe.

One of your hands reached on your bag, looking for something and pulling it out. You pulled away from his lips and looked at him.

"Do you wanna...?" You questioned showing him the condom in your hands.

His lips parted, hands lingering on you. He looked at you and buckled up under you, making you gulping down a moan. That was enough for you to set aside the condom and get rid off of his shirt.

As your lips connected once more, he opened your robe and let it fall on the floor. A hand of his sliding on your ass, groping it firmly while the other cupped one of your tits, massaging it softly.

"God you're so fucking sexy." He moaned into your mouth.

Sensing that tingling feeling between your legs, you instinctively grinded onto him making him moan once again into your mouth making you bite his lips once again.

Breathless, he left a wet trail of kisses against your skin, from your jaw to your breasts. One pierced nipple caught between his lips while the other was teased with his thumb.

Head thrown back, you moaned silently in his embrace. "Chris..."

Feeling too excited, you pulled back from his embrace and slid between his lap.

"What are yo-mhm.." Looking at you placing your hands on his thighs, kissing his inner thigh through the cloth of his sweatpants.

Slowly moving your hands upwards, you looked at his naked torso, memorising every line on his abdomen, memorising the way his chest flexed everytime you caressed his body.

Freeing him of his clothing, your eyes lingered on his member. It was way bigger than you expected. As you stared at it, Chris looked at you, twitching at the sight of your eyes on him. At the sight of your naked body finally revealed to his eyes.

Licking your lips, you licked the shaft of his dick, hands placed on both of his lap, caressing and softly scratching his skin.

"Shit... baby.." Gulping down, he looked at you.

Your eyes glancing right into his brown irises as you went down on him. Your head bopping down in a slow pace making him clench his fingers around the sheets. Feeling precum on your tongue, you deep-throated him, a hand of his moving on your head, caressing your scalp as guiding you on his long, wide, hard and veiny length.

"Just like that, babygirl..." Breathing heavily, he moved his hips meeting your throat.

Throat fucking you, he kept his eyes on yours. Taking in every aspect of your expressions.

Oh, how he always wanted to be inside your mouth.

While the both of you oblivious about each other's feelings, you happened to always chat during bed time while a hand was busy on your body, making you crave one another every next morning you saw each other.

Moving your head up and down, up and down, he found himself releasing deep inside your mouth. Making you dig your nails in his thighs.

"God.. you're definitely soul snatching.." He whispered in his orgasm making you gulp down and take the wrapping of the condom between your teeth, opening it.

"Soul snatching?" You questioned with a smirk as you put the rubber between your lips.

"Something me and the others say whenever you get corndogs." He mumbled pulling up his head looking right at you.

With a puzzled look he parted lips to speak but you cut him off by deep-throating him to wrap the condom around his hardness.

"Gosh, that was so damn sexy." He whispered looking at your body sitting onto his lap.

Rubbing his cock against your wet cunt, you slowly began sitting onto him. Taking him inch by inch. Lips parted you let out soft moanings escape your lips and you finally adjusted to his length.

"You're definitely bigger than my ex." You mumbled making him twitch inside you.

Hands on your hips, he guided your slow movements, enjoying the feeling of being inside of you. Biting on his lips, he leaned in to kiss your neck.

Your eyes looking deep into his movements, mouth opened in breathy gasps as you moved onto him.

"You lucky you're wearing a condom.." You whispered into his ear. "Or else, you would never be able to take it out.." Licking and nibbling on his earlobe, you kept on riding his hardness slowly.

He couldn't help but chuckle at your comment, a mix of surprise and amusement filling his eyes as he looked into yours.

"Well, you know what they say about condoms.. They prevent babies, but not the fun." His hands reached around your hips and started moving them in rhythm with your thrusts, his breath hitting your ear as he spoke.

Steadying your hands on his shoulders, you chuckled at his comment. With a smirk on your lips you kissed his neck before blowing your warm breath against his ear.

"You're the only guy I've ever swallowed." Wanting to tease him, you confessed a little secret of yours.

He couldn't help but let out a laugh, his free hand reaching up to toy with your breasts as you distracted him with your tease. "Yeah.. It's not every day a girl swallows a k-pop idol."

Your confession surprised him slightly, so he replied playfully. "But honestly. I'm more than proud that you chose to do that." His hands slightly pinching your pierced nipples, pushing you deeper onto him as he spoke.

Chuckling you started moving in wave motions as if to toy with his dick inside. Lips parted you plated a kiss under his eyes. "I mean, I've never swallowed even my ex." Touching his biceps, you groped them as you kept on riding him.

With that being said, he gripped on your ass cheeks and started slamming himself harder inside of you making you gasp and bite on his shoulder.

"Fu-uhck!" As you kept your nails deep into his skin, he threw his head back as his cock slammed in and out, in and out. Non-stop.

Balls deep inside you, he moaned as you both found your movements in synch. Without announcing it, he kissed your lips and whispered. "Look at me, babygirl."

Eyes on his, lips parted in moans you both found your release as you reached you first ever orgasm.

Because yeah, your ex had a nice dick but he never knew how to actually satisfy you.

Your lips crushed as you ate each other's moans. After riding through your high, he pulled out and embraced you moving your bodies in the middle of the mattress right after he threw away the used condom.

Cuddling and kissing, you both relaxed on each other embrace.

"I love you, my lady." Chris whispered into your ear.

"I love you more, Chris." You whispered kissing his lips.

Holding each other in a warm and soft hug, you both dozed off with a smile on your faces and marks all over your bodies.

[30somethingautisticteacher]

🍓 for ficlet Friday

This one got away from me a little bit. I hope you enjoy it, though!

***

Tommy flopped down on the couch next to Buck, running a hand through his hair. "So, I just got off the phone with my sister Sydney. Nora's graduation is coming up."

Buck turned to face him, interest piquing. "Oh yeah? In Maine, right? Are you planning on going?"

Tommy nodded. "Yeah, I promised I'd be there. It's a week from Saturday." He paused, then added hesitantly, "I was thinking... maybe you'd like to come with me?"

Buck's face lit up. "Really? You want me to come meet your family?"

"Of course," Tommy said, smiling. "You've already met Mom over video chat, and I've told you about everyone else. I think it's time they met my boyfriend in person."

Buck grinned, then furrowed his brow slightly. "How long were you thinking of staying? I know you usually try to keep these trips short."

Tommy shrugged. "I was thinking maybe three days? That would give us time for the graduation and to show you around a bit. Maybe even go blueberry picking if you're interested."

"Blueberry picking?" Buck's eyes widened with excitement. "I've always wanted to do that!"

Tommy laughed. "I thought you might like that idea. And who knows? I might even be able to convince Grandma Lynn to share her blueberry cobbler recipe with you."

"That would be amazing," Buck said enthusiastically. "I know that's one of your favorite desserts."

Tommy nodded, pleased that Buck remembered. "So, think you can get the time off?"

"Shouldn't be a problem," Buck assured him. "A long weekend in Maine with you and your family? I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Tommy leaned in and kissed Buck softly. "Great. It means a lot to have you there, especially since my dad won't be around."

Buck squeezed Tommy's hand supportively. "I know it's complicated with him."

Tommy shook his head, his expression hardening slightly. "Not that complicated really," he said, his tone matter-of-fact. "He's just a judgmental, homophobic, abusive jerk."

Buck's eyes widened slightly at Tommy's bluntness, but he nodded understanding. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that. But I'm glad he won't be there to ruin the celebration."

Tommy's expression softened as he looked at Buck. "Yeah, me too. The family's much better off without him around. And honestly?" He smiled. "I'm looking forward to introducing my boyfriend to the people who really matter."

Buck returned the smile, pulling Tommy closer. "I can't wait to meet them all in person. Sydney and the girls sound great from everything you've told me."

"They're going to love you," Tommy assured him. "Now, let's figure out the details for this trip. We should probably rent a car..."

****

The rental car wound its way through the picturesque Maine countryside, Tommy at the wheel and Buck in the passenger seat, their hands intertwined on the center console.

"You know," Buck said, breaking the comfortable silence, "after six months of hearing about this place, I can't believe I'm finally going to see it."

Tommy smiled, giving Buck's hand a squeeze. "I'm glad you're here. It means a lot to have you meet everyone in person."

Buck nodded, a hint of nervousness in his voice. "Your mom seemed great over video chat. I hope the rest of the family likes me as much."

"They're going to love you," Tommy reassured him. "Even Chloe, though she might not show it right away."

As they pulled into the driveway of a cozy two-story house, Tommy took a deep breath. "Home sweet home."

They stepped out of the car just as the front door burst open. Ellen rushed out, her arms outstretched. "There are my boys!"

Tommy embraced his mom tightly. "Hi, Mom. Missed you."

Ellen then turned to Buck, pulling him into an equally warm hug. "Buck! It's so wonderful to finally meet you in person!"

"You too, Ellen," Buck said, returning the hug. "Thanks for having me."

Sydney appeared in the doorway, grinning widely. "About time you two made it!" She hugged them both before calling over her shoulder, "Girls! Uncle Tommy and Buck are here!"

Nora bounded out, all smiles and excitement. "Hi Uncle Tommy! Hi Buck!"

Chloe followed more slowly, eyeing Buck with a mix of curiosity and skepticism. As the others chatted, she sidled up to Buck, arms crossed.

"So," she said, her tone cool and appraising, "you're the famous Buck we've been hearing about."

Buck smiled, trying to be friendly. "That's me. It's great to finally meet you, Chloe."

Chloe raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. And what exactly makes you good enough for my Uncle Tommy?"

Tommy, overhearing, started to intervene. "Chloe, that's not—"

But Buck placed a hand on Tommy's arm, giving him a reassuring look before turning back to Chloe.

"You know what? That's a fair question," Buck said, meeting Chloe's gaze. "I'm not sure I am good enough for your uncle. He's pretty amazing. But I promise you, I'm trying my best every day to be worthy of him."

Chloe's eyes widened slightly, clearly not expecting such a candid response. She studied Buck for a moment before a tiny smirk tugged at her lips. "Okay, that was a pretty good answer. I guess you can stay. For now."

Tommy chuckled, wrapping an arm around Buck's waist. "High praise from Chloe. You should feel honored."

Buck grinned, feeling like he'd just passed a crucial test. "Oh, I do."

****

The graduation ceremony was a proud moment for the whole family. Nora beamed as she accepted her diploma. Tommy and Buck cheered loudly from the audience, with Buck feeling genuinely touched to be included in this family milestone.

After the ceremony, during the family celebration, even Chloe seemed to warm up to Buck, begrudgingly admitting that he made her uncle laugh more than she'd seen in years.

The next day, Tommy and Buck found themselves alone in a sunlit field, wicker baskets in hand as they picked wild blueberries.

"You know," Buck said, popping a berry into his mouth, "I never thought picking berries could be this peaceful."

Tommy chuckled, reaching for Buck's hand. "It's not usually this quiet. But I wanted some time just for us before we head back."

They worked in comfortable silence for a while, stealing glances and trading soft smiles.

"Your family's amazing, Tommy," Buck said finally. "Thank you for bringing me here."

Tommy pulled Buck close, kissing him softly. "Thank you for coming, Ev. It means more than you know."

As they packed up their berries, Tommy added with a grin, "And just wait until you taste Grandma Lynn's cobbler. She's making it special for us to take back to California."

Their flight back to California was bittersweet. As they settled into their seats, Buck turned to Tommy.

"So, think your family approved of me?" he asked, a hint of lingering nervousness in his voice.

Tommy laughed, interlacing their fingers. "Are you kidding? Mom's already asking when we're coming back for Thanksgiving. And I'm pretty sure Chloe's planning to friend you on social media."

Buck relaxed, squeezing Tommy's hand. "Good. Because I have a feeling we'll be making a lot more trips to Maine in the future."

[marvel1012]

Sins of the Father - Pt. 1 "Richie"

Synopsis: AU 3rd season episode of The Bear. Carm makes a startling discovery, and must navigate the fallout.

Warnings: just a lot of cursing and smoking for this installment (later parts will also have drinking, mentions of domestic violence/crime)

Word count: 1,993

Author's note: This is my very first fic posted to Tumblr, honest feedback appreciated but please go easy on me! I'm new to The Bear fandom and have hyperfixated this silly AU fic into existence, if it sucks then I probably won't bother posting the rest. I hope you enjoy this long, strange trip :) (Oh, and I had to make up a first name for Mr. Berzatto because nobody says his name in the show. Cheers!)

Part 2 | Part 3 ___________________________________________

The sound of a few distant gunshots echoed around the alley behind The Bear, but it had that bouncing, ricochet quality that meant it was far enough away to be someone else’s problem, not his. Carm took a last drag on his cigarette and tossed the still smoking butt to the pavement, stomping it out with the sole of his non-slip sneaker. Exhaling the last of the drag, he glanced over at the lone streetlight above the parking spot. It was strobing, the ancient bulb still trying to provide light but dying nonetheless. “I’ll have to get the city out here to fix that,” he thought.

“Hey Carmy, somebody’s out front to see ya,” the new guy, Connor, had his head stuck out the back door. 

“What? Who is it?” It was the middle of the night, an hour or so after service ended. Who would show up to the restaurant at this hour, asking for him? 

“I dunno, he says he’s your dad? Or somethin’?” 

Carm felt like he’d been punched in the stomach and slapped across the face simultaneously. 

Not ready…

Why now…

Why here…

On his sharp intake of breath, Connor’s eyebrows lifted in confusion. “You want me to tell him to get lost, errrr?” 

“Ah, no. No, that’s okay. I’ll— I’ll be right there.” 

Connor nodded and stepped back inside, leaving the door open for Carmen to follow. Carm rubbed hs index finger against his bottom lip, considering the empty doorway. Not ready…

As he passed through the kitchen and toward the front of house, the flurry of activity that usually followed dinner service was winding down. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Sydney and Marcus talking low about something over near the prep area. He did his best to hide the fact that the thought of them dating, of them being together, made his blood boil. What right did he have to be jealous, though? It’s not like he deserved someone as beautiful, smart, and talented as Sydney. He was broken, and the whole debacle with Claire had proven that beyond a shadow of a doubt. Marcus is good for her, she’s good for him, and I’m not good for anybody.

Passing into the dining area, he noticed a chair that hadn’t been pushed in. Someone must have missed it when they were straightening up. He stopped to put it back where it belonged. Old habits. Or maybe just stalling to avoid the awkward interaction he was about to face. Taking a deep breath, he hit the door and stepped out onto the sidewalk in front of The Bear, expecting to see the father he barely knew, the one from the pictures, the one that had walked away from him and everybody else all those years ago. 

But what he got was– someone else. 

Instead of broad shouldered, salt and pepper haired Jerry Berzatto, he of the deep set, dark eyes and craggy features that looked so much like Mikey’s it hurt, the man standing in front of him, taking a long drag on a Parliament, was pretty much the polar opposite. He was on the taller side, close to six feet, slender build but still muscular, kind of a wiry guy. His wild shaggy hair, haloing his face in the glare from the streetlight, was gray, but more like a light brown gone mostly to lighter blond, not like it had once been black. Not like his dad’s would have been. 

“Heeeey, you must be Carmen, the head honcho. You got one for your old man?” The stranger popped his cigarette into the corner of his mouth and took a step forward, offering Carmen his now free right hand for a shake. Instead of doing likewise, all Carm could do was stare. Stare directly into those piercing blue eyes– his eyes. The world tilted on its axis, and he took a step back. 

“Wh-who the fuck are you?” 

The man’s lopsided grin fell, and he reeled his hand back in, reclaiming the cigarette. “What? Didn’t your Ma tell ya I was gettin’ out this week?” He paused, looked for recognition in Carm’s eyes. Seeing none, he threw his hands out. “Didn’t– didn’t your Ma tell ya anything?” Silence. The stranger rolled his eyes. “Sheeezus, that is just like crazy Don. Just like her, that fuckin’ broad, I swear,” he rubbed his lips with the fingers of his free hand, clearly agitated. 

Just like I would do. 

What. The fuck. 

“Who are you, man?” 

His question was ignored. “I bet she ran around the whooooole neighborhood tellin’ everybody that you were Jerry’s kid. And just who did that crazy bitch think she was foolin’?” He gestured broadly toward Carm, “I mean, look at ya.” He shook his head in apparent disbelief, taking another long drag. Then mumbled under his breath, more to himself than anything, “Jerry’s fuckin’ kid, heh, get fucked.” 

Taking in the ratty bomber style leather jacket and threadbare jeans that must have come from some lower end thrift store, like the Goodwill down on Washington, the gaunt, sunken cheeks and hollow eyes, the badly faded neck tattoo that could have been a pair of dice, once, possibly? Or maybe they were dominoes? It all suddenly clicked into place. Carm’s rage flared, hot and jagged. 

“Look, I don’t know who the fuck you are, or what kind of shit you’re tryin' to pull, but you need to get the fuck away from my place. Whatever you’re sellin’, I don’t want it. Did somebody put you up to this? Did Richie put you up to this?” 

The man cocked his head to the side, any and all traces of friendliness suddenly evaporated. He flicked the cigarette into the gutter, took another step forward as he exhaled a cloud of smoke. There was anger now, barely simmering under the surface. “Look, I may have been doin’ time for the last 30 years and maybe I coulda called once in a while just ta ask about ya, but me being gone doesn’t change the fact that I’m your Dad, and-'' he stopped, stuck his hands in the pockets of his jacket, looked down at his busted Nikes, and sighed. Although it obviously pained him to swallow his pride, he had to admit defeat. Softly, almost a whisper, “And, well, I guess I could use your help. Maybe a job washin’ dishes or–” 

And there it was. “Get the fuck away from my restaurant. If I ever see you near my place again, I’m callin’ the cops and tellin’ em that you’re down here flashin’ women on the street in front of my place of business. They’ll get here quick.” 

The stranger’s mouth set in a thin, hard line. Even that small detail struck Carm as vaguely familiar, as if he’d seen the expression somewhere before. You have. In the mirror. The tall man retreated a couple of steps backward on the sidewalk, shaking his head again. “I should have known. I should have known you’d be just as psycho as she is. You go ask her, ask her about Sam Miller. If she hasn’t pickled herself by now, she’ll tell ya exactly who I am.” 

He turned on his heel, and Carm released the breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding. What the fuck is going ON? Without waiting to make sure the guy kept walking, he bolted back into the restaurant and locked the door. 

“Cousin? Everything okay out there?” Richie was standing in the doorway that led to the kitchen, looking concerned. 

“No, ah, yes, no. I don’t know.” Carmen leaned against the door, pressing his forehead to the cool glass. He was still gripping the deadbolt, as if he thought Sam Morris was coming back to try to force his way inside. 

“What’s goin' on?” Richie moved across the darkened dining area, coming to stand beside him. He peered through the tinted glass, straining to see out. 

“My, well, my uh,” Carm swallowed, started again, “It was some crazy guy that showed up, trying to say he was my dad. Did you like, pay some guy to fuck with me?” 

Richie got very still. He didn’t say a word, just stared. It looked like all the blood had drained from his face. That, or he’d seen a ghost. 

“Richie.” 

Nothing. Richie Jerimovich speechless was a scary sight to behold.

“Richie? Do you know who that guy is?” 

His brother’s best friend finally turned to look at him, and there was so much sadness there. Whatever he was about to say, he didn’t actually want to say it. The reluctance was palpable in his voice. 

“That guy,” another pause, he really didn’t want to have to say this, “that guy is your dad, Carmy. Your real dad.” 

“No, I don’t believe you. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Carm.” 

“Nuh uh, there’s no way. I don’t– I can’t– I-I”, he could feel the panic rising in his chest, tightening, getting harder to take a full breath. He was getting out of control again. 

“Carmy, calm down. It’s gonna be alright,” Richie pulled a chair over to where they were standing, “here, sit down for a second.” 

Carmen sank into the chair, hand pressed to his sternum, rubbing. Just focus on breathing, in and out, in and out. Don’t think about those eyes. Your eyes. Don’t think about that, think about anything but that. 

“Look. Me and Mikey were just kids when all this went down. We were old enough to know that some shady shit was happenin’, but the adults didn’t really tell us anything. Sam was a guy that worked with your dad doing electrical stuff. Remember? And your mom worked in the office for the electrical company? Before they bought The Beef?" he stopped to make sure Carmen was lucid enough to be getting all this. He sure as shit did not want to repeat it. 

“Uh huh,” Carm nodded to show he was following along, and for him to continue. Focusing on Richie’s voice, on his words, was helping him calm down.

“So, from what I know, Donna and this guy had some kind of thing goin’ on, behind your dad’s back. It didn’t last long but it was, ya know, long enough, obviously. Anyway, your mom got pregnant and that Sam guy split. We never saw him come around again.” 

Carm stopped rubbing his chest and looked up, “So Mikey knew. And you knew. Who else knows? Does Nat know?” 

“Ah, no I don’t think so. She was still really little when all this was going on. Nobody ever talked about it after, either. I think we all wanted to forget that it happened, and move forward with like, life, ya know?”  

Carmen couldn’t help but grunt and shake his head at that one. Sure, just forget it all happened. Just move on, pretend it’s all okay. Except it wasn’t, not for him. This changed so much.

“I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. How could I not know? I always looked different from them, felt different from them. Never really fit in. Not really.” 

“I don’t think you wanted to see it, Cousin.” Richie put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you head home, me and Syd can make sure everything gets finished here and lock up. If that prick has the nerve to show his face again, I’ll make him wish he hadn’t.” 

“Yeah, okay.” As he headed toward the back of house to grab his stuff, he paused. 

“Richie?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Don’t tell anybody else what’s goin' on. This is my business, and I don’t want any drama. Not Fak, not Syd, and definitely not Nat. Please.” 

“Of course, Cousin. Whatever you say.” 

Carmen nodded, and turned to leave. 

To be continued....

[daydreamgoddess14]

Everything More Than Anything pt. 2

Sydney Adamu x Carmy Berzatto - R rated 🔥

Full Masterlist

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Chapter 1

~~~~~

Syd's brain is in overdrive, she needs some help with the mental load...

Chapter 2

With Carmy finally on board, Syd threw herself into work more than ever before. The crew rose to the challenge they'd set them, and were improving day by day. Some days though, chaos reigned no matter how hard she tried. The turnover time on a handful of tables was too short, they had diners arriving for tables which were still in use - a nightmare for an already too busy Saturday night. Richie had handed over expo to Carmy so he could deal with the front of house noise, leaving Syd and Tina both covering his station. 

"I need to fire the dessert right now for table 4 and 8 please, Marcus."

"Yes, Chef."

"Are those the two tables waiting to turnover?" Syd called over, 

"Richie's waxing, don't worry. They'll be sitting in 20. Yes Marcus?" Carmy confirmed, pushing Marcus for the desserts.

"Heard, Chef. Plating now."

"Excellent, thank you. Can I have hands ready to go please. 4 and 8, let's go." Syd watched Carmy direct the expo with ease, unperturbed by the additional stress of the first cover's late arrival and the second's early arrival.

"Hate it when people are late."

"Early is just as bad."

"Early gets a drink at the bar. Late pisses everyone off." She reasoned. 

"It's done. Let's move on, I've got 3 halibut and 5 salmon all day?'

"3 halibut, 5 salmon all day, Chef." She confirmed,

"Behind, Jeff," Tina called out at the same time, brushing just a hair too close to Syd and catching her wrist with the hot pan. 

"Shit," Syd gasped, the pain taking her breath away, 

"Baby, I'm so sorry! Fuck, let's get you under some water, honey -"

"It's OK, you carry on. Marcus, can you plate these please?" Syd stepped away from her fish as Marcus moved into her space. Carmy was already running the faucet so she plunged her hand straight under the water flow. Her eyes screwed up, she grimaced in pain as Carmy took her hand and turned it over to check the burn. 

"Looks nasty. Keep it under there," he instructed. "Let's get 2 of those halibut and 1 salmon ready to pick up, Marcus. Followed by 3 salmon."

"Yes, Chef. You good, Syd?"

"Fine Marcus, thanks. The first salmon is SOS, please."

"You got it, Chef."

"You good?" He asked quietly by her side, 

"Sure." She breathed out through pursed lips, pain still evident on her face. She went to move her hand from the water, but his firm grip still holding it kept her from doing so.

"Not yet. Still hurts?" She nodded, "so keep it there." He said firmly. 

"That's new 4 and 8 seated. Order coming on now." Richie moved through the kitchen, 

"Thanks, cousin, are they happy?"

"Nothing a couple of free margaritas won't cure."

"Fucking heard, Chef." Syd agreed, teeth still gritted against the pain. 

"Ouch, burn baby burn? I'll save you a marg, Syd. Tequila will take all your pain away, honey." Richie bounced her shoulder sympathetically as he passed. She stood with her hand under the water for 10 long minutes with Carmy checking in periodically, mostly to make sure she hadn't moved. 

"My fingers are numb, can I move now?" She asked, he nodded as his pen flew across the table information and crossed off the latest table completed.

"Yeah, c’mere," he turned to draw her in and pulled the first aid kit from under the table. He took out the burn ointment and smeared some across his index finger before lightly applying it to the angry red burn on the side of her hand. Her free hand pulled her jacket collar away from where it crowded her neck, his eyes flicked up to watch her. She could feel the goosebumps on her arm as he gripped it gently to apply the cream. She was fascinated by the diligence and tenderness he touched her with as the rest of the busy kitchen disappeared around her. "Plating tables 10 and 16, Marcus?" He called out, his focus split equally between the crew and the tickets lined up on the expo, and her. She felt her heart rate pick up as she watched him multitask. She'd tried for a long time to ignore the ache between her legs whenever he exuded total control like this. Seeing his confidence and skill in full flight was really something. "That ok?" He asked quietly, bringing her back down to earth.

"Yep. Yes, Chef. Thank you."

"Good. You've got 2 halibut and 4 salmon all day."

"2 halibut, 4 salmon all day." She repeated back, tearing herself from his side and back to her station. Tina was wrapping her in a hug instantly,

“I’m so sorry, baby. Are you ok? Lemme see,” She turned Syd’s hand over in her own, 

“It’s ok T, I’m fine. It’s not a bad one.” She reassured the older woman, “let’s get back on it,” she listened carefully so she could get caught up and the rest of the service went without issue. As promised, Richie delivered an ice cold margarita to her station just as they wound down and started the clean up. 

“Coulda been worse sweetheart, I once put my whole palm down on a stovetop. It was one of those electric hotplate ones an’ I forgot it was on. Burned my whole hand. Fuckin’ grim, and holy shit the pain was insane.” He held up his palm, examining it for signs of evidence.

“Thanks Richie, god that’s gorgeous." She took a long drink from the cold cocktail. "Front of house get cleaned up under your watch?”

“Sure it did, smooth as a baby’s ass. No one had a clue.” She grinned at his enthusiasm.

“Ok. Same again tomorrow?”

“You know it, Chef. Someone wants stars after all,” he rolled his eyes affectionately.

“Oh c’mon Richie, you know you want it too. Don’t pretend you weren’t impressed at Ever.” She teased.

“We’re gonna be better kiddo.” He slung an arm around her and dropped a kiss on the top of her head before dancing away from her, “ When you wish upon a star, Your dreams will take you very far, yeah, ” he sang, “ You're a shining star, no matter who you are, shining bright to see, what you could truly be… ”

“Beautiful, thanks for that. Really showing your age there with the 70s disco.” He laughed,

“Everyone loves a classic. What’s your dad listen to?”

“Yeah, it’s the classics for sure. Disco, Soul, Motown, a little 70s rock, he really likes to get down. Got some great pictures of orange corduroy flares and silk shirts.” She grinned, “I literally caught him this morning busting a move while he made coffee. He made me go to dance classes with him when I was a kid.”

“For real?”

“Yeah, cos y’know… my mom. He wanted to meet people, make some friends, but it’s not easy I guess with a kid hanging around, so he just took me with him.”

“Cute, So you’re gonna go on Dancing with the Stars once you’re a top fuckin’ famous chef, yeah?” Across the room, she caught Carmy laughing.

“No, hell no. It was 20 years ago, I have conveniently forgotten everything I ever learned.”

“Bullshit! Yo Tina, did you know Syd’s got moves?”

“Course she does honey,” Tina scoffed, “we’re always dancin’ around here when you ain’t watchin’! So, we done here, Chefs?” She looked around to assess how everyone else was getting on.

“Yes, Chef. Let’s go home. I could fall asleep on my feet.” Syd sighed, a yawn creeping up on her.

“Syd, fall menu tomorrow?” Carmy asked as they all milled around grabbing coats and changing shoes.

“Yeah sure, I was going to swing by the market at Logan Square in the morning first?” Syd could feel Tina watching them,

“Sounds good, mind if I get in on that?”

“No, that’s… that’s totally fine.” She frowned as she spotted Tina turning to hide a smile. “Night everyone,” she took Tina’s arm and the two women left together out into the warm evening.

“Something goin’ on there?” Tina asked as soon as they were away from the building.

“No! Tina, god no. That is a ridiculous suggestion. It would be a terrible idea, for one. And secondly, I don’t even like Carmy y’know, like that .”

“Sure honey, it’s not like you idiots are spending all day looking at each other or anything like that, right? You must think I’m blind, babe.” She laughed.

“Shut up, Tina.” Syd grumbled as her Sous pulled her along to the train station.

 

~~~~~

 

“Yo, what’s that?” Carmy asked, weeks later. Sundays in Logan Square followed by brainstorming/ cooking/ menu planning at Carmy's had become the new normal. 

“What’s what?” She said, a teaspoon held between her teeth. 

“That face?”

“It’s just my face?”

“No, there was a look - is it the consommé?” He took the spoon from her mouth, and dipped it into the amber liquid to try.

“Don’t double dip.”

“It’s only us eating it, doesn’t count.” 

“The consommé is fine.”

“Yeah, so what’s up?”

“I just have a thing… I’ve done something to my shoulder,” she winced as she rotated it.

“May I?” He asked, raising his hands. She nodded and he stepped behind her, “where?”

“Like, below my shoulder blade, kinda here -” she stretched her hand behind her back and roughly pointed to the area where her bra’s shoulder strap met the horizontal band with a sharp intake of breath, “hurts like a motherfuc -” His thumb pressed into the soft flesh of her back,

“Here?”

“Little lower,” she squeaked, “and to the lef -, ohh fuck,” she trailed off with a sigh as he found the problem area.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck, and the warmth of his hands - one kneading the space somewhere between her shoulder blade and the top of her ribs, and the other on the opposite side of her waist to hold her still. She could feel how rigidly she stood.

“Relax, s’probably not helping.”

“Easy for you to say.” She muttered, desperately gritting her teeth to hide the moan on the tip of her tongue.

“Yeah, right.” His thumb found a particularly tender spot,

“Ohh god, fuck,” she let out a broken whine, her hand flying up to cover her mouth in embarrassment. She jerked away from him but his hand on her waist held tighter,

“Just -, I’ve nearly got it, Syd.” He said hoarsely. “Better?” He asked, clearing his throat. She let out the breath she’d been holding, it felt like she couldn’t hear her own thoughts - only white noise.

“Yep, great. Thanks.” She turned to face him, fiddling with the collar of her t-shirt. “I gotta… I gotta split, my dad’s been on me for not hanging out with him anymore.”

“You doing anything?” 

“There’s an exhibit he wanted to see at the Art Institute. Was gonna take him to get crepes after.”

“S’good, you should get outta here.” He shoved his hair back, pushing the curls off his face.

“See you tomorrow?"

"For sure. Say hi to your dad from me." He said shyly. 

"Yeah, maybe next time uhh, I dunno, you could come too. If you wanted, I mean. I keep meaning to take him for breakfast at Kasama." She wrung her hands, swaying lightly on the balls of her feet. 

"I'd like that, Syd." A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, "But you should go, otherwise he'll uninvite me." 

"Fuck yes, yes he would." She rushed for the door, a loud "see ya!" As it slammed behind her. 

 

Another couple of weeks rolled on, and as much as Syd didn't care to admit it, Carmy had been right. Taking their time, building everyone's confidence at their own individual pace, caring about every detail, was working. By running a minor injuries triage on the sideline, Carmy had kept Syd on the straight and narrow. The good vibes were almost intoxicating. As they’d moved into early September, Nat had reduced her hours to as few as possible with her due date looming but she was impressed with how things had improved since opening night. Yet Syd couldn’t switch her brain off. It felt like a constant stream of thought, she could feel herself only giving half of herself to any conversations she was a part of, the other half consumed with what they needed to do next, do better, do more of.

“Yo, Syd, you listening?”

“Of course I am,” she looked up sharply at Marcus,

“What’d I say?”

“We were talking about…” she racked her brain, the guilt mounting. She hadn’t been listening, not even close. The last thing she’d heard was about Luca’s plans to visit, she’d then switched off to think about whether she and Carmy could drag him in for a day or two of training with a few of the crew. She was outlining a possible training plan in her mind, splitting the two days into chunks of time dedicated to the things she wanted him to show them.

“It’s a nice idea, Marcus, totally fine for you to take a day or two and show Luca around.” Carmy confirmed,

“It’s a great idea. There are so many good places you could show him.” Syd nodded along, shooting Carmy a grateful look for saving her. Marcus grinned, 

“Thanks guys, ‘preciate it.” He left the office and went back to his station, pulling his phone out to text Luca.

“Not listening?”

“Thank you for the save.” She slumped further into the spare office chair.

“You got lucky.”

“Ok, ok, I zoned out.”

“You’re always zoning out. Pretty sure you don’t really listen to anyone anymore.”

“I listen to you. Usually. I had an idea about doing a workshop with Luca - if he’s up for it?”

“Dude comes on vacation and you want to put him to work?”

“He’d love it.”

“We’ll think about it.” He assured her, “where’s your head at?” She looked away at the books over his shoulder, 

“I dunno,” she mumbled, “s’like I… like my brain is just so full of stuff, I can’t think fast enough, can’t write it all down quickly enough. I just can’t switch it off, it’s constant.” She tried to think of the last time her mind wasn’t a relentlessly moving machine. 

“You sleeping?”

“Sometimes. I get a few hours if I’m lucky. Don’t you feel like this too?” She asked, almost desperately.

“I used to, til someone started giving me shit about having my full focus.”

“Haha, so funny,” she rolled her eyes, “I’m serious.”

“So am I. That is how it felt before. Then you told me to focus, so I did. One thing at a time. Mostly.”

“What’d you do?”

“Listened to you. Prep helps - keeps my hands busy and gives me time to think.”

“I don’t get it. Did you know Dolly Parton wrote I Will Always Love you and Jolene on the same damn day? So why the hell can’t I do what I need to do in a day? I need to empty my brain completely first. A total reset. Just blank space, no thoughts at all. White noise.” She rubbed her tired eyes, “now that would be first fucking class.” She handed him her half empty iced coffee and swiped the half slice of toast left on his plate holding it between her teeth, “Oh fuck -” 

“S’up, channeling Dolly Parton?” He sniggered. 

“No!” She scoffed, “I just realized how to… ugh, but it means Tina was right. God fucking damn.” She chewed thoughtfully.

“You’ve lost me?”

“Yeah, nevermind. Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah?”

“For real. Back to it, Chef.” She left the office, still cursing under her breath. 

 

White noise. Suddenly it was all Syd could think about, the last time her brain had got up and walked out on her had been when Carmy had his hands on her. She'd felt the warmth of his hands through her clothes burning into her skin, his firm but careful touch trying not to hurt her. The way he'd grazed a particularly sensitive spot that would have made her knees buckle if the table hadn't been holding her up. And of course Tina had been right about the best way to relax. Because of course that would be the answer. She fell practically mute during service, robotically repeating back to Richie on expo, but otherwise not really engaging. She missed the whole conversation about Tina’s birthday plans, didn’t even flinch when Connor dropped a baking sheet right at her feet and didn’t once argue with Richie. She could feel Carmy’s gaze burning right through her at every opportunity, but he didn’t pull her up on her silence.

“Earth to Sydney Adamu, come in Sydney Adamu? Are you reading me?” Richie called over, using his hands as an amplifier,

“Sorry Richie, miles away. What’s up?”

“... Dude, that’s what I’m askin’ you? Where’s my sparring partner, huh? I musta mispronounced at least three different dishes tonight and you didn’t rip me even once! An’ you know I can’t rely on Carmen for witty banter - that’s our bag!”

“Witty banter?” She laughed, “I’m very sorry Rich, it won’t happen again. I promise if you really want me to roast you next time you fuck up, I’ll be there in a hearbeat.”

“That’s my girl! That’s what I wanna hear! Ok lizards, that’s the kitchen closed - thank you and goodnight. Not literally of course, get cleaning. Cousin, coming to burn one?” Carmy shot her one last look before following Richie.

“Baby, you good? I like, signed you up to cater my whole fuckin’ birthday party and you just agreed no questions asked?” Syd sighed with relief, of course she would have agreed to that regardless.

“T, hell could freeze over and I’ll still do your birthday. You know that!”

“I know, just don’t want you burning out - you’re workin’ too hard.”

“I’m working the same as I always do. I promise I’m fine.” She popped a kiss on Tina’s cheek as Richie and Carmy came back in to join the clean up. By the time the kitchen was spotless, Syd was drained. She called out goodbyes from the office as the others left, scribbling notes before they got overtaken in her brain by something else and something else and something else. 

"Syd, home." Carmy peered around the door. Half the lights were off and there were only the two of them left. 

"Shit, sorry. Yeah, I'm going." She dragged herself from the desk. 

"Look, can I try something - and you can tell me to fuck off?"

"I doubt I'm gonna tell you to fuck off, Carm."

"You might. Close your eyes?" She hesitated, but did as he asked. "What are you thinking?"

"Honestly?" She felt him nod.

"Well, I started to think we needed a new fruit supplier cos I swear we're being screwed on strawberries. Then I got onto strawberries being ready earlier each year because, y'know, climate change. So I doomspiralled a little, wondering if we need to move premises due to flooding, food prices, food shortages… but then I got kinda back on track thinking we could grow our own fruit and vegetables but that's, like, a lot of work and now I'm just about back to getting a better fucking supplier - ohh, or joining up with other spots nearby to buy bigger quantities, cheaper? Also, climate change is gonna kill us all, so that was a fun little detour." She finally stopped, eyes still closed, it was so quiet she wondered if Carmy had just left the building during her rant. Then he laughed. A lot. 

"Syd sweetheart, fuck, you need to get some sleep." 

"Fuck you, I know I do. But that is the state of my mind at the moment, and it is not funny! Things are going so well, why can’t my mind just let me breathe?" She sighed. "Can I open my eyes now?"

"No." She felt a hand on her waist, his insistent kiss on her lips, and she squeaked in surprise. He pulled away as she leaned in, leaving her swaying on the spot. 

"Oh." She opened her eyes with just enough time to see him move towards her again. 

"Oh? Should I stop?" He asked. She shook her head, words failing. Somewhat more prepared this time, she met him halfway in an instant clash of tongues and teeth. With one gentle push backwards, he'd pressed her against the wall. She gripped his t-shirt in her fist, catching the chain around his neck at the same time.

"Ohh god," she moaned in exactly the same way as she had in his kitchen. He nipped along her jawline, one hand on the back of her neck and the other on her ass.

"Sounds familiar," she could feel him smile, "how's all the big brain shit goin'?"

"Fuck, Carm -" She gasped as his hand moved from her neck to palm her breast over her t-shirt, "no thoughts here." He pulled away from her abruptly, holding her steady against the wall, 

"Good girl." He watched as her breath stuttered at his compliment and smirked. He flicked his wrist at the button of her pants, and kept his eyes on her as he slid them over the curve of her ass. She nodded for him to continue, and he dropped to his knees in front of her, dragging the material down her leg and pulling off her sneakers. She waited for him to reappear, but he didn't. Instead, he hooked her knee over his shoulder,

"Wait, what?" 

"I'll stop when you forget your own name. How's that sound?" Her jaw dropped, "kidding. Mostly. Say now, and I stop, and we can forget this ever happened, 'K?" 

"I don't want you to stop," she whispered. 

"Good." He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her soaked underwear and pulled them down her legs, then he nudged her legs apart and lifted one to drape it over his shoulder. "So wet, Syd," he teased, peppering her inner thighs with kisses. He licked a broad stroke through her folds, his nose nestling up against her clit. She could feel her knees shaking so he put a firm hand on the hip of her raised leg to hold her steady. His other hand moved to join his determined mouth, he replaced his tongue fucking her with his fingers and turned his attention to suck her clit 

"Oh f-fucking fuck , Carm," She tangled a hand in his hair, partly to stop him from moving, and partly to keep herself upright. His fingers, knuckle deep inside her, pumped lazily in and out while he savored her taste, wanting to drag out her pleasure for as long as possible. Her dripping cunt ached for release but he didn't let up.

"You wanna come for me, baby?" He murmured as she whimpered at the loss of his tongue.

"Yes, god yes -" her hips twitched towards him, changing the angle so his fingers brushed against her g-spot, he flicked his tongue over her clit at the same time and felt her walls contract around his fingers as she came apart completely with a broken sob of his name. He rested his head against her thigh as she leaned limply into the wall. Her legs trembled, so he slipped her underwear back up, sat back and guided her down the wall to sit in his lap. "Holy shit." She whispered once she'd recovered her breath. 

"How's your head?" He asked, dropping a kiss to her temple. 

"Hmm, pretty empty." She smiled into the crook of his shoulder. She kissed a trail up to his ear and along his jaw, tasting herself on his tongue. With a desperate moan, she moved to straddle his hips, her knees on the cold, hard floor. She could feel him rock hard through his pants and rutted against him. 

"So fuckin' beautiful, Syd." His hands gripped her ass, holding her against him and making them both moan. His phone vibrated across the desk and onto the floor as he slid his hands underneath her t-shirt, "ignore it." He told her, tickling the sides of her ribs while he tried to pull it off. She batted his hands away and leaned away from him to reach it. 

"Fuck, it's Pete?" She handed it over and he swiped to answer the call just before it rang off. 

"Hey man, you good?" Syd couldn't hear Pete's response, but she could see Carmy's frown deepen. She moved to get up from his lap but his hand on her bare thigh stopped her. "On my way. No, no Richie till later - got it. Yeah, I'll bring Syd. Later dude." The phone dropped into his lap between their bodies. "We gotta go."

"We?"

"Baby's coming, Nat wants you there."

"Oh no, no no. That's not… I don't like hospitals. And it's really late. And I'm pretty sure they only let family in, so -" 

"We'll figure it out later, come with me?" He cupped her jaw, bringing her face close to his again, and kissed her, "and we'll figure this out later. C'mon." She stood up with ease, her legs now more willing to cooperate, and held out a hand to help him up. He kissed her again, his cock still half hard pressed into her thigh, "fucking family. Figuring this out later for sure." She pulled away first, hands fluttering nervously as she found interest in her bare feet, the coral nail polish a pop of brightness in the dimly lit room. 

"I'm gonna get cleaned up. Have we got time?" She picked up her clothes from the floor,

"Pete said it's still a while off, we're OK for now." She nodded, considering his wild hair and disheveled clothes. 

"You should straighten up too. She's your sister, full blown labor or not she's gonna know straight away." 

"Yeah, yeah I will." He nodded in agreement. She took her time in the beautifully decorated bathroom. The dark wallpaper and paint with the brushed gold features were all her and Nat. They'd spent an afternoon in a DIY store together picking out the colors and accessories. She switched with Carmy, and while he was in the bathroom, she put her sneakers back on and switched off the remaining lights.

[kmomof4]

Teaser Thursday!!!

Hello all! It’s been a long while since I posted anything, so I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon that booksteaandtoomuchtv started this morning. Calling it Teaser Thursday instead of Things I’m Typing Thursday (TIT Thursday) because while I am currently working on a new fic, I haven’t had time to work on it all week, so I can’t say I’m currently TYPING anything… anyhoo, I do have 3 fics waiting in the wings to post this fall and holiday season, and hopefully this new project will post sometime this fall as well, we’ll see… so I thought y’all would like some sneak peeks…

Orphan Girl is waiting on a beta read and was inspired by a song of the same name my local chorale group sang last spring as part of our concert featuring Songs from the Enchanted Isle, Folks Songs of Ireland, England, and Scotland. The song was originally written by Brendan Graham for the Annual Great Famine Commemoration in Sydney in 2012. The ceremony commemorates the relocation of about 4k female orphans to Australia after the potato famine took its toll.

Welcome to Drogheda Station, Miss Nolan,” he began. “My name is Killian Jones, and I am in need of a governess for my young daughter. She lost her mother closing in on a year ago now, and I just want to meet you myself before introducing you to my Alice and make sure you’d be a good fit with our family.” Emma nodded, but remained silent. His crystal blue eyes remained on hers as he spoke and she had to give herself an internal shake to keep herself from getting lost in them.

“So, tell me about yourself.” He looked down at a small stack of papers on his desk for a moment before looking back at her again. “I have quite a lot of information about you from your file provided to me from Granny, but I’d like to hear some of it in your own words.” He smiled and Emma instantly relaxed as she returned it.

“Ah,” Emma began, “the name… of the station? Drogheda? That’s Irish isn’t it?”

His smile lit up his face and Emma thought she would swoon at the pleasure she saw in his beautiful eyes.

“It is,” he affirmed. “My father was from Drogheda in County Louth on the east coast of Ireland. He immigrated here when he was a teenager. He died when I was small, but when I bought this land, I wanted to honor him and the roots he left behind by naming the station after his hometown.”

“I see.” She smiled back at him. “That’s a lovely tribute to your family. Thank you for sharing it with me. I’d never been to County Louth, but I had heard of it. I’m from County Mayo on the west coast.”

Killian smiled softly at her statement and nodded for her to continue. He watched the young woman in front of him intently as she continued speaking. Her manners were impeccable and her appearance was most pleasing. Her long golden hair was gathered at the nape of her neck in a ponytail against the summer heat, but it positively glowed in the sun shining through the windows of his office. There was a sadness in her green eyes that Killian found himself responding to. It was the look that he himself saw in the mirror every day. The look of an orphan. Given her circumstances, and where she came from, he wasn’t at all surprised.

What did surprise him, however, was how strongly he was responding to it. He wanted nothing more than to care for and shelter this lovely young lady. Her education and decorum were obvious in her comportment and Killian was sure she’d be a perfect fit for the position. He rarely had trouble discerning the character of a person upon their first meeting, and after just this brief introduction to Emma Nolan, he had no compunction whatsoever in bringing her on as Alice’s governess.

Our next sneak peek is from the Family Affair universe! After the response I got to the fics in the series, I wanted to share the couples Happy Beginnings, as well. And what better way is there then to gather the entire extended clan for Christmas? This fic picks up one year after Robin and Regina’s wedding, when David finally came home, and will post on Christmas Day.

Christmas was just a couple of days away. Emma, Killian, and Henry were feverishly getting everything ready to host the entire extended Swan and Jones families. They were expecting a total of sixteen extra guests for the holiday and excitement was running very high.

They didn’t usually have much snow in December, but this year, they were predicting around three inches on Christmas Eve. Henry had never seen a white Christmas, and with all his aunts, uncles, and cousins, in addition to his grandparents coming, this was sure to be the best Christmas ever!

Henry peeked into his baby sister’s bedroom, not surprised to see her awake and standing in her crib. Henry grinned and came in, followed closely by Shep.

“Eny, Eny,” Hope babbled as her big brother approached.

“Do you know what today is, Hope?” Henry asked his sister. “Everyone’s coming today! Mimi and Papaw, Aunt Ruby, Uncle Graham and Poppa, and you’ll get to meet your baby cousins in person, Aunt Regina and Uncle Robin, Aunt M’s and Uncle David, Aunt Elsa and Uncle Liam, Aaron and Dale, and Grandpa Nemo!”

Henry lowered the side of the crib and lifted Hope out, setting her on her feet on the floor. She wasn’t walking independently yet, but she was close and Henry just knew that she’d do it sometime in the next few days while everyone was here. He stood behind her and held onto her hands raised in the air as she started toward the door of her bedroom.

He followed along behind her as they toddled the short distance to their parents’ room. Once they reached the door, Henry knocked.

“Mom? Dad?” he asked, opening the door slightly. Shep pushed the door open the rest of the way with his nose.

“Mamamamamamamama,” Hope babbled. “Dadadadadadadada.”

The lights were still off, but the sun was poking through the blinds. Their dad sat up, his mouth opening on a huge yawn and swung his legs off the side of the bed, motioning for them to be quiet.

“Mom’s still asleep,” he whispered. “Let’s let her sleep just a little more. Go downstairs with Hope, Henry, and I’ll be down in just a minute to get breakfast started.”

Henry nodded and turned Hope around, back toward the door of the bedroom. As soon as they were gone, Killian leaned over to Emma, pressing a kiss to her brow and whispering in her ear.

“You can sleep for a little while longer, babe. I’ll send Henry up to get you once breakfast is ready.”

All he got was a muffled Mmmph in reply. Killian chuckled and made his way to the bathroom.

Our next fic is a continuation of A Christmas Surprise. Told mostly in Killian’s pov this time, it begins with Killian and Alice’s reunion and goes all the way to Killian and Emma’s wedding day! This is a long one and so will have two parts. Part One will post on Dec 8, and Part Two on Dec 15.

Killian Jones sat in the darkness of the giant present in which he was hiding, waiting for his daughter’s Christmas program to begin. He couldn’t wait to see his starfish when he surprised her after she sang her solo this evening. He was proud to serve his country, but the long deployments made things especially difficult. Having Liam and Elsa so close by and willing to care for Alice when he was gone was a blessing he didn’t take for granted in the least, but he was so thankful that he was home for good now and was eligible to retire in just a few more months.

Which made him think about what would come next. What the future might hold and how the lovely Emma Swan might fit into it. He’d been thoroughly gobsmacked when he laid eyes on the golden haired beauty who was Alice’s teacher when he arrived at the school earlier. And then the revelation that she was single sent his heart rate ratcheting up like he hadn’t experienced since he’d met his late wife. It had been six years since he’d lost his beloved Milah, and the thought of re-entering the dating scene hadn’t crossed his mind once in all that time. He was still relatively young and handsome, but with his very young daughter and Navy career, he didn’t have the time or inclination to put himself back out there.

But Emma Swan might just change his mind on that front.

He knew his countenance sported a goofy, thoroughly besotted smile when he heard movement on the outside of the present in which he sat. Bright light from the auditorium flooded the dark space as the box’s small door opened, helping him immensely in the schooling of his features before being confronted with the object of his thoughts as she handed him his dinner.

“Do you have enough light to see to eat in here?” Emma asked, looking around.

Killian grimaced. He hadn’t really thought of that. “Perhaps not.”

“I can stay for a bit while you eat, turn the flashlight on on my phone. So you can see to eat,” she stammered. The blush on her cheeks was adorable, and Killian’s heart rate picked up yet again.

“That would be great. Thank you, Emma.”

She smiled as she moved into the space with him. It was a bit cramped with them both sitting on the floor, but he didn’t mind it at all. He tucked into his Christmas meal of roast turkey and dressing, mashed potatoes, green beans and cranberry salad as Emma told him about some of the antics Henry, Alice, and her cousins had gotten up to this semester.

She told him about Liam Jr and Colin hiding Alice’s pencil box on the first day of school. Meant as an initiation of sorts, it had made Elsa’s morning that much more hectic and stressful trying to find it and make it to school on time. Emma related how she’d had trouble containing her giggles when the twins confessed what they’d done, handed over the pencil box, and got exactly what was coming to them from their mother. Later on the same day, in retaliation, Alice and Henry had hidden away the twins’ lunch boxes. Killian had to stifle his laughter at the story.

Then Emma told him about the time just a few weeks ago when Alice was delayed coming back from the restroom. When Emma went to look for her, she found the child peeking into the auditorium where her cousins were engaged in a basketball game with another school in the area. Colin had just made a shot, and Alice was cheering loudly for her cousin from the hallway when Emma found her. Killian’s heart swelled.

And finally, the new fic I’ve been working on is inspired by Francesca Bridgerton’s story. I wrote the entire first ch of the fic, almost 8400 words, in five days, so I’m hoping I’ll be able to finish it next month and post it sometime in November. No promises, but that is the hope…

There is a moment in every man’s life in which his future becomes clear. A turning point of sorts. The moment when he becomes a man, when he leaves the irresponsibility and temerity of youth behind and turns his eyes to the future. A future that he’d never allowed himself to think about before. Unfortunately, that moment came for Killian Jones when he first laid eyes on Emma Nolan, at a supper celebrating the imminent marriage between herself and Killian’s brother Earl Liam Jones.

After years of chasing anything in a skirt, Killian grimaced at the irony. In all that time, he’d never allowed his heart to become entangled with his many, many romantic exploits. Allowing himself to be chased until he conquered, his reputation as a rake and a scoundrel was well deserved. He’d even stopped attending church, although he assuaged the pricking of his conscience by telling himself the derelict stones of Kilmartin Abbey on the Kilmartin estate up in Scotland couldn’t withstand a direct strike of lightning, which would surely happen if Killian Jones ever showed his face inside. No originality among his ancestors there, when it came to naming. They were so proud of the title when it was newly bestowed about 300 years ago, that they attached it to everything they possibly could.

Killian Jones

Worst of Sinners

He would have had it printed on calling cards if he didn’t think it would actually kill his mother. He may never have seduced a virgin or slept with a married woman… Oh very well, if he couldn’t be honest in his own head, then what was the purpose? He’d slept with plenty of married women. But only those whose husbands were tossers, and only when they’d already produced at least two male offspring, three if one of others was sickly. He may have a modicum of honor left in his blackened soul… because this was the one thing that truly did it. Blackened his soul beyond all redemption.

He coveted his brother’s wife.

And had since that fateful moment two years ago. The day he met Emma Nolan. Emma Nolan Jones now. Lady Kilmartin. Countess Kilmartin. Wife of his brother. The Earl of Kilmartin.

He could torture himself for days thinking of every iteration of Emma Nolan Jones, but it would never change the simple fact. He couldn’t have her. She’d never be his.

I hope this whets y’all’s appetite!!

Tagging the usual crew. Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

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